| 1 | Sophia K. | Leonides | Survivor of the war. Lives in a crooked house. |
| | Charles | Hayward | Narrator. Sophia's fiance. |
| | Aristide | Leonides | Sophia's 85-year-old grandfather. |
| 2 | Brenda | Leonides | Aristide's second wife. aka: Second Mrs. Leonides. |
| | | | Three Gables - The crooked house. |
| 3 | Glover | Hayward | Assistant commissioner in Scotland Yard. Charles's father. |
| | Chief Insp. | Taverner | Man in charge of the case of Aristide's death. |
| | Roger | Leonides | Aristide's eldest son. A married man with no children. |
| | Philip | Leonides | Aristide's son. A married man with three children. |
| | Eustace | Leonides | Sophia's brother. |
| | Josephine | Leonides | Sophia's ugly 12-year-old sister. |
| | Edith Elfrida | de Haviland | First Mrs. Leonides's sister. Sophia's aunt. |
| | First Mrs. | Leonides | Aristide's first wife. Sophia's grandmother. |
| 4 | Det. Sgt. | Lamb | Chief Insp. Taverner's partner in Aristide's case. |
| | Laurence | Brown | Josephine and Eustace's tutor. |
| | Clemency | Leonides | Roger's wife. A scientist. |
| 5 | Janet | Rowe B. | Old, fat woman. Aristide's nanny. aka: Nannie. |
| 6 | Magda | Leonides | Philip's wife. Actress. Sophia's mother. aka: Magda West. |
| | Johnson | | Aristide's faithful valet attendant. |
| | Mr. | Gaitskill | Leonides Family Solicitor. Lawyer. |
| 9 | Terry | | Brenda's ex-boyfriend. |
| 10 | Electra | Leonides | Aristide's daughter. Died in the war. |
| | Joyce | Leonides | Aristide's daughter. Died in the war. |
| | William | Leonides | Joyce's son. Died in the war. |
| | Janel | Woolmer | Aristide's parlormaid. |
| | Dr. | Gray | Glover's friend. Doctor. |
| 14 | Barbados | | Clemency's distant cousin. |
| | Richard | | Clemency's ex-husband. |
| 17 | Mr. | Agrodopolous | Aristide's friend. Proprietor of Delphp's Restaurant. |
| 22 | Ferdinand | | Josephine's four-tailed goldfish. |
| 23 | Carberry | | Old judge. |
