| 1 | Sylvia | Simon | Margaret's grandmother. |
| 2 | Nancy | Wheeler | The girl that Margaret befriended. A secret club member. Aka: Alexandra. |
| | Margaret Ann | Simon | Protagonist and Narrator. Aka: Mavis. |
| | Barbara | Wheeler | Nancy's mother. |
| | Evan | Wheeler | Nancy's brother-in-law. |
| | Moose | Freed | Evan's friend. |
| | Miss | Phipps | Nancy's former teacher. |
| 3 | Dr. | Potter | Mr. Simon's father. |
| | Gretchen | Potter | Dr. Potter's daughter. One of Nancy's friends. Aka: Veronica. |
| | Herb | Simon | Margaret's father. |
| 4 | Miles | Benedict Jr. | Margaret and Nancy's new teacher. |
| 5 | Janie | Loomis | One of Nancy's friends. |
| | Laura | Danker | Margaret's classmate who has big boobs. |
| 7 | Philip | Leroy | One of Margaret's crushes. |
| | Jay | Hassler | One of Margaret's crushes. |
| | Miss | Abbott | Margaret's gym teacher. |
| | Freddy | Barnett | One of Margaret's classmates. |
| 9 | Rabbi | Kellerman | The rabbi. |
| 10 | Ruth | | Margaret's gym classmate. |
| | Norman | Fishbein | Margaret's partner. |
| 11 | Hilary | Brite | One of the girls who has big boobs. |
| 12 | Paul | Hutchins | Barbara's father. Margaret's grandfather. |
| | Mary | Hutchins | Barbara's mother. Margaret's grandmother. |
| | Alan | Gordon | The boy who wasn't singing Christmas songs. |
| | Lisa | Murphy | The girl who wasn't singing
Hanukah songs. |
| 14 | Mr. | Anthony | Janie's hairdresser. |
| 16 | Dr. | Cohen | Sylvia's acquaintance. |
| | Morris | Binamin | A widower. The man that Sylvia dated. |
| 20 | Reverend | Baylor | The Hutchin's church minister. |
| 22 | Max | | The cashier. |
