| 1 | Maud | Warner | Narrator and Protagonist. A socialite. AKA: Bluffalobill237. |
| | Alan | Warner | Maud's brother. |
| | Mies | Van Der Rohe | A famous architect. |
| | Burt | Sklar | Mr. Sunderland's business partner and best friend. |
| | Sun | Sunderland | The man Maud killed. A financier and philanthropist. AKA: Sean, Samuel. |
| 4 | Greta | Lauber | Jean's best friend. |
| | Ms. | Ellis | Greta's assistant. |
| | Magma | Hartz | Greta and Jean's friend. A gossip lady. Aka: Magma The Magpie. |
| | Martyn | | Greta's butler. |
| 5 | Billy | Jakes | Maud's mentor and good friend. |
| 6 | Jean | Streeter | Sun's wife. An advertising agency owner. |
| | Pam | | Sun's first wife. |
| | Sylvia | Gugliantini | Burt's wife. |
| | Lois | Warner | Maud's mother. |
| 7 | Jake | Lauber | A publisher. Greta's late husband. |
| | Brent | Hobbs | A writer and blogger. |
| 8 | Gloria | Jakes | Billy's wife. |
| 10 | Alice | Keppel | King Edward's mistress. |
| | Danya | Sunderland | Sun's other wife. An ex-stripper. AKA: Dany. |
| 11 | Detective | Chen | The detective in charge of the shooting incident. |
| | Charlie | Chan | A cinematic detective. |
| | Warner | Oland | The actor who played Charlie Chan. |
| | Sidney | Warner | Maud's stepfather. |
| 12 | Squire | Huff | Jean's lawyer. |
| 14 | Tony | Bennett | Sun's favorite singer. |
| | Michael | Sunderland | Sun's son from his first wife. |
| | Vance | Packer | The newly-elected district attorney. |
| | Hethia | | Vance's wife. |
| 18 | Mona | Lickel | Burt's lawyer. |
| | Margaret | Henson | One of Sun's will witnesses. Deceased. |
| | Lydia | Fairley | Magma's friend. Maud's lawyer. |
| 20 | Wanda | Balter | A newscaster. |
| 24 | Joyce | Kiner-Braden | A columnist. Maud's poker friend. |
| | Bunny | Westerly | Maud's porker friend. |
| 26 | Pratt | | The night dealer at the Gypsy's. Maud's friend. |
| 27 | Mr. | Potts | Danya's math teacher. |
| 32 | Anais | Nin | A bigamist writer. |
| | Charles | Lindbergh | One of the famous bigamists. |
| | Charles | Kuralt | A famous journalist and television personality. One of the famous bigamists. |
| | Patricia Elizabeth | Shannon | One of Charles's wives. |
| 40 | Cadillac | Dan | Pratt's friend. A dealer. |
| 42 | Payne | Whitney | A psychiatric clinic owner. |
| 49 | Kyle | Michaels | Detective Chen's colleague. |
| 55 | Adam | Kenmore | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Anita | Kenmore | Adam's wife. |
| | Lyles | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Sarah | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Julius | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Rachel | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Barry | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Dave | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | North American | A.J. | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Big | Ober | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Asian | Corry | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Cowboy | | One of Maud's poker friends. |
| | Veronica | | Big Ober's wife. |
| | Burkett | Jamison | The judge at Maud's trial. |
