1 | Scott | Carey | Bob's friend who tried to lose weight. Protagonist. |
| Bob | Ellis | A retired doctor from Highland Acres. |
| Myra | Ellis | Bob's wife. |
| Nora | Kenner | Scott's former wife. |
| Dr. | Adams | Scott's doctor. |
| Deidre | McComb | Missy's restaurant co-owner and lover. A star runner. Aka: DeeDee. |
| Melissa | Donaldson | DeeDee's co-owner and lover. Scott's neighbor. Aka: Missy. |
| Bill | D. Cat | Scott's cat. |
| Dum | | Missy and DeeDee's dog. |
| Dee | | Miss and DeeDee's dog. |
| Patsy | Denton | A diner owner. |
| Ronni | Briggs | Scott's neighbor. A public works worker. |
| Trevor | Yount | Ronnie's colleague. Aka: Bull Neck. |
| Mike | Badalamente | The Book Nook's owner. |
| Dusty | Coughlin | The town's Mayor. |
2 | Gina Ruckle- | House-Beckett | McComb's employee. Bob's acquaintance. |
| Milburn | Stone | An American actor. |
4 | Milly | Jacobs | Scott's friend. |
| Gene | Krupa | A drummer. |
| Purdy | | A hardware store owner. |
| Zoney | | The owner of Go-Mart. |
| Aunt | Harriet | Scott's imaginary aunt. |
| Felicity | | Missy's friend. |