| Peter | Aaron | poets and prose writer |
| Bud | Abbott | an American comedian |
| Bill | Abramavitz | Employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| Alice | Abrams | Archie's classmate and friend at Riverside Academy |
| John | Adams | a Founding Father of the United States |
| Hugh | Addonizio | the 33rd mayor of Newark |
| Archibald | Adler | Rose Ferguson's paternal uncle; aka Archie Adler; aka Uncle Archie |
| Benjamin | Adler | Rose Ferguson's father; aka Benjy Adler; aka Ben; aka Papa |
| Betty | Adler | Archie and Pearl Adler's daughter; Charlotte Adler's twin sister |
| Charlotte | Adler | Archie and Pearl Adler's daughter; Betty Adler's twin sister |
| Emma | Adler | Benjamin Adler's wife; formerly Emma Bromowitz; aka Nana |
| Mildred | Adler | Rose Ferguson's older sister |
| Pearl | Adler | Archibald Adler's wife |
| Theodor | Adorno | a German philosopher and musicologist |
| James | Agee | an American novelist and journalist |
| Spiro | Agnew | the 38th U.S. President |
| Paul | Akst | Director of the New York headquarters of the Selective Service System |
| Archie | Andrews | a fictional character from Archie Comics |
| Susan | Anthony | an American women's rights activist |
| Mike | Antonelli | Radio and TV salesman at Stanley's TV & Radio |
| Mark | Antony | a Greek Philosopher |
| Guillaume | Apollinaire | a French poet |
| Louis | Armstrong | an American jazz trumpeter and singer |
| Rudolf | Arnheim | a German writer |
| Mike | Aronson | a member of Spectator |
| King | Arthur | the legendary British king |
| John | Ashbery | Anne's mother's first husband's ex-wife |
| Erich | Auerbach | author of Mimesis |
| Jane | Austen | an English writer |
| Isaac | Babel | a Soviet writer and journalist |
| Johann Sebastian | Bach | a German composer and musician of the Baroque era |
| Beetle | Bailey | the titular comic character from "Beetle Bailey" |
| Ernest | Baker | an English author and editor |
| Janet | Baker | an English opera singer |
| Josephine | Baker | a French dancer and singer |
| Béla | Balázs | a Hungarian film critic |
| Mr. | Baldassari | a full-time volunteer coach under Gallagher's Sporting Goods |
| James | Baldwin | an American writer and civil rights activist |
| Mrs. | Baldwin | Archie Ferguson's English teacher |
| Jeff | Balsoni | Archie's friend |
| Ferdinand | Bardamu | the protagonist of "Journey to the End of the Night" |
| Mehdi Ben | Barka | a Moroccan politician |
| Jean-Louis | Barrault | a French actor who played as the mime, Duburau, from Children of Paradise |
| Freddie | Bartholomew | an American child actor |
| Peter | Baskin | Archie's classmate and friend at Riverside Academy |
| Charlie | Bassinger | the kid who lived next door to Archie on Woodhall Crescent |
| Rick | Bassini | Gloria Dolan's love interest |
| André | Bazin | a French film critic |
| Charles | Beard | an American historian and professor |
| Wallace | Beery | an American film actor |
| Saul | Bellow | a Canadian-American writer |
| Lead | Belly | an American folk and blues musician |
| Joe | Bentley | the Ferguson's store's delivery man |
| Walter | Benton | a police officer; Abner Quine's former partner |
| Ingrid | Bergman | a Swedish-American actress |
| Lisa | Bergman | Vivian Screiber's friend and lover |
| Busby | Berkeley | an American film director |
| Alexander | Berkman | author of Prison Memoirs of an Anarchist |
| Leonard | Bernstein | Music conductor that leads the New York Philharmonic in the Gala Opening Concert |
| Chuck | Berry | an American singer |
| John | Berryman | an American poet |
| Ira | Berstein | Lew Ferguson's bet handler/bookie |
| Billy | Best | a prose writer; founder of Gizmo Press |
| Joanna | Best | Billy Best's wife |
| Nathan | Birnbaum | Charlotte's husband |
| Paul | Blair | an American baseball player |
| William | Blake | an English poet and painter |
| Lou | Blandisi | a musician at Antonio's; aka Corny Accordionist from Little Italy |
| Mr. | Blasi | Archie's sixth-grade teacher |
| George | Bliffle | a man who died from a stomach ache |
| Marshall | Bloom | an American journalist and activist |
| Norman | Bluhm | an American writer |
| Allen | Blumenthal | Ethel and Edgar Blumenthal's son |
| Edgar | Blumenthal | Ethel Blumenthal's deceased husband |
| Ethel | Blumenthal | Stanley Ferguson's second wife |
| Stephanie | Blumenthal | Ethel and Edgar Blumenthal's daughter |
| Angie | Bly | the Ferguson's housekeeper and cook |
| Humphrey | Bogart | an American actor |
| Judith | Bogat | a painter; Paul Sandler's second wife |
| Mr. | Boldieu | Archie's French class teacher |
| Luther | Bond | Amy's romantic partner |
| Septimus | Bond | Luther Bond's younger brother; aka Seppy |
| The | Bookmaker | another bookie/bookmaker of Lew Ferguson |
| Jorge Luis | Borges | Argentine short story writer |
| Juan | Bosch | a Dominican politician |
| James | Boswell | an English writer |
| Alex | Botello | Student interviewed by Michael Timmerman |
| Emma | Bovary | a fictional character from Miss Bovary |
| Mr. | Bowles | Archie's music teacher at Hilliard's |
| Marlon | Brando | an American actor |
| Pierre | Brasseur | a French actor who played as Frédérick Lemaître from Children of Paradise. |
| Jimmy | Breslin | a journalist for Herald Tribune |
| Robert | Bresson | a French filmmaker |
| Dr. | Breuler | a gynecologist |
| Eddie | Brickman | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins |
| Mr. | Briggs | Riverside Academy's headmaster |
| Richard | Brinkerstaff | Archie's co-worker |
| Ann | Brodsky | the girl Archie met at Camp Paradise |
| Marjorie | Bromowitz | Saul Bromowitz's wife |
| Saul | Bromowitz | Emma Adler's brother |
| Big | Brother | a fictional character from 1984 (a novel) |
| Chuckie | Brower | Archie's childhood friend |
| H. Rap | Brown | an African-American activist |
| Mordecai | Brown | an American baseball pitcher; aka Three Finger Brown |
| Rebecca | Brown | shot by the Newark Police during the days of the Newark riot |
| Anna | Brownstein | Sam and Peggy Brownstein's daughter |
| Peggy | Brownstein | Sam Browstein's wife |
| Sam | Brownstein | Stanley's childhood friend; owner of a sporting goods store |
| Nigel | Bruce | an English actor |
| Didi | Bryant | Benjy Adler's mistress |
| William Frank | Buckley | an American writer |
| Thomas | Bulfinch | an American writer |
| Sitting | Bull | a Hunkpapa Lakota leader |
| Blondie | Bumstead | a comic character from "Blondie" |
| Dagwood | Bumstead | a comic character and husband of Dagwood Bumstead from "Blondie" |
| William | Burdock | the judge presiding over Archie's case; Gordon DeWitt's friend |
| Geoffrey | Burnham | Norma Stiles' T&H colleague; a friend of Aubrey Hull |
| Delia | Burns | a coed student that Archie met in Sarah Lawrence College |
| Cassie | Burton | the Ferguson's househelper |
| Robert | Byrd | a former U.S. Senator |
| John | Cage | an American composer and artist; author of Silence |
| James | Cagney | an American actor |
| William | Calley | U.S. Army Officer |
| Albert | Camus | author of Reflections on the Guillotine |
| Mrs. | Canobbio | kindergarten teacher |
| Edie | Cantor | Howard Small's love interest |
| Marcel | Carné | the director of Chicken of Paradise |
| Leslie | Caron | a French actress and dancer |
| Scott | Carpenter | an American naval officer and astronaut |
| Leo | Carroll | an English actor |
| Lewis | Carroll | an English writer |
| Pablo | Casals | a Catalan cellist |
| Leo | Castelli | an Italian-American art dealer |
| Raúl | Castro | the first secretary of the Communist Party of Cuba |
| Willa | Cather | an American writer |
| Holden | Caulfield | a fictional character from the novel, Catcher in the Rye. |
| Bennett | Cerf | an American writer and publisher |
| Claude | Chabrol | a French film director |
| Marc | Chagall | a Russian and French artist |
| Charlie | Chaplin | a comic actor and filmmaker |
| René | Char | a French poet |
| Cyd | Charisse | an American dancer and actress |
| Thomas | Chatterton | a character in Plutarch's the Parallel Lives |
| Geoffrey | Chaucer | an English poet and writer |
| Mr. | Chunkowitz | an obese customer of Florsheim Shoe Store |
| Cassius | Clay | American boxer and activist; aka Muhammad Ali |
| Roberto | Clemente | a Puerto Rican baseball right fielder |
| Andy | Cohen | Archie's male sexual fling |
| Choo Choo | Coleman | an American baseball player |
| Henry | Colemann | the hostage undergraduate dean |
| Ronald | Colman | an English actor |
| John | Coltrane | an American jazz saxophonist |
| Charlie | Conerly | an American football quarteback |
| Mark | Connely | Gloria Dolan's love interest |
| Jewel | Cook | a member of Chicago Black Panthers |
| Gladys | Cooper | an English actress |
| Fabienne | Corday | Anne-Marie Dumartin's stepmother |
| Phil | Costanza | a writer; Dan Schneiderman's collaborator on a Children's book; |
| Lou | Costello | an American comedian |
| Mrs. | Costello | Archie's second grade teacher |
| Tom | Courtenay | an English actor |
| Buster | Crabbe | an American Olympic swimmer and film actor |
| Hart | Crane | a Russian poet |
| Stephen | Crane | an American poet |
| Bob | Cratchit | a fictional character from A Christmas Carol |
| Joan | Crawford | a German military leader and Nazi |
| Donald | Crisp | an English actor |
| Walter | Cronkite | an American broadcaster |
| Barton | Crosetti | a music critic |
| Henry | Crowder | an American jazz musician |
| Mr. | Crowley | apartment owner |
| Mrs. | Crowley | apartment owner |
| Countee | Cullen | an American poet and novelist |
| Nancy | Cunard | a British writer |
| Millicent | Cunningham | a poet; Rose Ferguson's commissioner/client |
| Richard | Daley | the 54th Mayor of Chicago |
| Richard Joseph | Daley | the 48th Mayor of Chicago |
| Alvin | Dark | an American baseball short stop |
| Clarence | Darrow | an American lawyer |
| Trixie | Davenport | an Italian poet and philosopher |
| Bette | Davis | an American actress |
| Miles | Davis | an American jazz trumpeter |
| Bob | Dawkins | 3 Brothers Home World's Janitor |
| Honoré | de Balzac | a French novelist and playwright |
| Charles | de Gaulle | a former President of France |
| Pedro Calderón | de la Barca | a Spanish dramatist |
| Michael | de Montaigne | a French Renaissance philosopher and writer |
| Anthony | DeLucca | Archie's classmate; aka Chubs, aka Blubs, aka Squish |
| Mr. | Dempsey | Archie's teacher |
| John | DeSimone | a white Newark police officer |
| Robert | Desnos | a French poet |
| Molly | Devine | Amy's friend |
| Gordon | DeWitt | alumnus of Princeton University; Archie's scholarship benefactor |
| Legs | Diamond | an American criminal |
| Charles | Dickens | an English writer and journalist |
| Emily | Dickinson | an American poet |
| Dick | Diver | a fictional character from Tender Is the Night |
| Bernardine | Dohrn | a former leader of the Weathermen |
| Antoine | Doinel | a fictional character from a film, The 400 Blows |
| Gloria | Dolan | Archie's love interest |
| Fats | Domino | an American pianist and singer |
| Robert | Donat | an English actor |
| John | Donne | an English poet |
| Miss | Donne | Archie's music teacher at Riverside Academy |
| Mary | Donohue | Joanna Best's younger sister; Archie's lover |
| Lorna | Doone | a fictional character from Lorna Doone |
| Alice | Dotson | Archie's sexual fling |
| Frederick | Douglass | an American abolitionist and orator |
| Arthur | Dove | an American artist |
| Arthur Conan | Doyle | a British writer and physician |
| Hallie | Doyle | Archie's love interest |
| Mark | Dubinsky | Archie's cabin mate at Camp Paradise |
| Jean | Dubuffet | a French painter and sculptor |
| Albert | Dufresne | an acquaintance of Vivian; Archie's lover; aka Al Bear; aka Mr. Bear |
| Patsy | Dugan | Amy's Barnard University friend |
| Allen Dulles | Dulles | a former CIA Director of U.S. |
| John Foster | Dulles | a Lawyer and former U.S. Secretary of State |
| Anne-Marie | Dumartin | Archie's love interest |
| George | Dumartin | Anne-Marie Dumartin's older brother |
| Mr. | Dumartin | Anne-Marie Dumartin's father; a Belgian UN economist |
| Mrs. | Dumartin | Anne-Marie Dumartin's deceased mother |
| Patrice | Dumartin | Anne-Marie Dumartin's older brother |
| Mr. | Dunbar | Archie's English teacher; Riverside Rebel's faculty adviser |
| Angelo | Dundee | Muhammad Ali's trainer and cornerman |
| Joe | Dunlap | an Editor for Rochester Times-Union |
| Deanna | Durbin | a Canadian-American actress |
| Émile | Durkheim | a German philosopher |
| George | Eastman | founder of Eastman Kodak Company |
| Lynn | Eberhardt | a Dutch painter |
| Gordon | Edelman | the lawyer |
| Albert | Einstein | a theoretical physicist |
| Dwight | Eisenhower | the 34th U.S. President |
| Sergei | Eisenstein | a Soviet film director and screenwriter |
| Lotte | Eisner | a German-French writer and film critic |
| George | Eliot | an English novelist |
| Jack | Ellerby | an American actress |
| Daniel | Ellsberg | an American political activist and economist |
| Paul | Éluard | a French poet |
| Queen | Esther | the President of Brooklyn College |
| Medgar | Evers | an American civil rights activist |
| Frantz | Fanon | a French writer who wrote Les Damnés de la terre |
| Manny | Farber | an American painter and film critic |
| William | Faulkner | an American writer |
| Art | Federman | Archie's close friend at Camp Paradise; aka Artie Federman |
| Celia | Federman | Artie Federman's younger sister |
| Ralph | Federman | Artie Federman's father; a pharmacist |
| Shirley | Federman | Artie Federman's mother; a part-time librarian |
| Jack | Feldman | Head Counselor of Camp Paradise |
| Bob | Feller | an American baseball player |
| Aaron | Ferguson | Ichabod's second son; aka Arnold |
| Alice | Ferguson | Louis and Millie Ferguson's youngest daughter |
| Andrew | Ferguson | Louis and Millie Ferguson's eldest son |
| Archibald Isaac | Ferguson | Stanley and Rose Ferguson's son; aka Archie Ferguson; aka Ferguson; aka Isaac; aka A. I. Ferguson |
| Fanny | Ferguson | Ichabod Ferguson's wife; formerly Fanny Grossman |
| Frances | Ferguson | Aaron and Joan Ferguson's second child/daughter; aka Francie |
| Ichabod | Ferguson | Archie's paternal Grandfather; a Russian-Jewish immigrant; born Isaac Reznikoff; aka Ike Ferguson |
| Jack | Ferguson | Aaron and Joan Ferguson's eldest son |
| Joan | Ferguson | Aaron Ferguson's wife |
| Louis | Ferguson | Ichabod's eldest son; aka Lew |
| Millie | Ferguson | Louis Ferguson's wife |
| Rose | Ferguson | Stanley Ferguson's wife; Ferguson's mother; formerly Rose Adler |
| Ruth | Ferguson | Aaron and Joan Ferguson's youngest child/daughter |
| Stanley | Ferguson | Ichabod's youngest son; Founder of 3 Brothers Home World; aka Sonny |
| Henry | Fielding | an English writer and judge |
| W. C. | Fields | an American actor and comedian |
| Georges | Figon | a French chemist |
| Horace | Finnegan | Riverside Academy's basketball coach; aka Happy |
| Ella | Fitzgerald | an American jazz singer |
| F. Scott | Fitzgerald | an American novelist |
| Margie | Fitzpatrick | Archie's classmate |
| Linda | Flagg | Archie Ferguson's romantic interest |
| Gregor | Flamm | a character from Archie's written story, Eleven Moments from the Life of Gregor Flamm |
| Gustave | Flaubert | a French novelist |
| Fagela | Flegelman | Archie's distant cousin |
| Andrew | Fleming | Vivian Screiber's friend; had a sexual fling with Archie; Archie's CC professor |
| Lazlo | Flute | a character from Archie's written story, Right, Left, or Straight Ahead? |
| Errol | Flynn | an Australian-American actor |
| Michael | Foot | a former Member of Parliament of the United Kingdom |
| Gerald | Ford | one of the slain guards at the Attica Prison |
| John | Ford | an American film director |
| Whitey | Ford | an American baseball player |
| Ned | Fortunato | Assistant employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| James | Fox | an English actor |
| Anne | Frank | a German diarist |
| Aretha | Franklin | an American singer |
| Benjamin | Franklin | a Founding Father of the United States |
| Arnie | Frazier | Jim's high school friend; Archie's employer during summer |
| Jim | Freeman | poets and prose writer; member of Spectator |
| Robert | Frost | an American poet |
| Tommy | Fuchs | Archie's classmate and bully; aka Tommy Fucks |
| Hick | Funn | misspelled the name of Huck Finn |
| Carl | Furillo | an American baseball player |
| Billy | Furr | shot by the Newark Police during the days of the Newark riot |
| Mahatma | Gandhi | a civil rights advocate |
| Greta | Garbo | Swedish-American actress |
| Federico García | García | author of Poems of Solitude at Columbia University, Return to the City, Ode to Walt Whitman; |
| Robert Allen | Gardiner | Chet Johnson's inebriated friend |
| Judy | Garland | an American actress and singer |
| Peggy Ann | Garner | an American actress |
| Greer | Garson | a English actress and singer |
| Lou | Gehrig | an American baseball first baseman |
| Bobby | George | Archie's childhood friend and bestfriend |
| Carl | George | Bobby George's older brother |
| George | Gershwin | an American composer and pianist |
| Tom | Gianelli | Archie's co-worker and friend; a photojournalist for Rochester Times-Union |
| Frank | Gifford | an American football player |
| John | Glenn | an American astronaut |
| Jean-Luc | Godard | a film director of Breathless |
| Robert | Goheen | Princeton University's President |
| Cathy | Gold | Archie's classmate |
| Ted | Gold | an expelled student from Columbia University; Amy's friend |
| Yiggy | Goldberg | a junior-class member of Archie's schools basketball team |
| Emma | Goldman | a Russian political activist |
| Mike | Goldman | Archie's classmate and friend at Riverside Academy |
| Peggy | Goldstein | Howard Small's love interest |
| Mitch | Goodman | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| Hermann | Göring | an American poet |
| Les | Gottesman | Amy Schneiderman's acquaintance |
| Glenn | Gould | a Canadian classical pianist |
| Eric | Graf | Betty and Seymour Graf's son |
| Judy | Graf | Betty and Seymour Graf's daughter |
| Seymour | Graf | Betty's Husband |
| Cary | Grant | an English-American actor |
| Douglas | Grant | Vivian Screiber's older brother and Gil's close friend |
| Juliette | Gréco | a French singer and actress |
| Bob | Greenberg | Junior Counselor of Camp Paradise |
| Serge | Grieman | Billy Best's artist friend |
| Thomas | Griswold | Tom's Bar and Grill owner; the man who called the police; akaTom |
| Philip | Guston | a Canadian-American painter |
| Edmund | Gwenn | an English actor |
| Nathan | Hale | an American soldier and spy |
| Alexander | Hamilton | the first U.S. Secretary of the Treasury |
| Nancy | Hammerstein | Jim Schneiderman's romantic partner |
| Fred | Hampton | an American activist and revolutionary |
| Learned | Hand | an American jurist and lawyer |
| George Frideric | Handel | a German-born British composer |
| Oliver | Hardy | an American comic actor; aka Ollie; aka Mr. Fat |
| Jean | Harlow | an American actress from the film Suzy |
| Rex | Harrison | an English actor |
| Laurence | Harvey | a Lithuanian-British actor |
| Howard | Hawks | an American film director |
| Nathaniel | Hawthorne | an American novelist |
| Doug | Hayes | Archie's close friend at Hilliard's; aka Dougie Hayes/Dougie H. |
| Edith | Head | an American costume designer |
| The | Headmaster | Hilliard School for Boys' Headmaster |
| Uriah | Heep | a fictional character from David Copperfield |
| Ernest | Hemingway | an American novelist and short story writer |
| Jimi | Hendrix | an American singer |
| Audrey | Hepburn | a British actress |
| Marcel | Herrand | a French actor who played the monster, Lacenaire, from Children of Paradise. |
| Chester | Himes | an American writer |
| Adolf | Hitler | an Austrian-born German dictator |
| Julius | Hoffman | a U.S. District judge |
| Frank | Hogan | the Manhattan district attorney |
| William | Holden | an American actor |
| Billie | Holiday | an American jazz and swing singer |
| Gary | Hollander | Francie's romantic partner; aka tall Gary |
| Stephen | Hollander | Francie and Gary Hollander's son |
| Buddy | Holly | an American singer and guitarist |
| J. Edgar | Hoover | the former U.S. Director of the FBI |
| Gerard Manley | Hopkins | a 19th-century English poet |
| Lightnin' | Hopkins | an American blues singer |
| Harry | Houdini | an American illusionist and stunt performer |
| Vic | Howser | Archie's co-worker and friend; a sportswriter for Rochester Times-Union |
| Richard | Hughes | the 45th governor of New Jersey |
| Aubrey | Hull | an English publisher from Io Books; aka the ruler of the elves |
| Fiona | Hull | Aubrey Hull's wife |
| Hubert | Humphrey | the 38th Vice President of the U.S. |
| Edward | Imhoff | Editor in Chief of Montclair Times |
| George | Ionello | the lookout during the arson incident |
| Eugène | Ionesco | a Romanian-French playwright |
| George | Jackson | member of the Black Panther |
| Seymour | Jacobs | Rose Ferguson's doctor |
| Bo | Jainard | Billy Best's artist friend |
| Mr. | Jameson | The School Principal |
| John | Jay | the first U.S. Chief Justice of the Supreme Court |
| Thomas | Jefferson | a Founding Father of the United States; the 3rd U.S. President |
| Chet | Johnson | a racist man from the bar; aka Charlie |
| Dr. | Johnson | an Italian Renaissance painter and historian |
| Lyndon | Johnson | the 36th President of the U.S. |
| Al | Jolson | a Lithuanian-American entertainer |
| LeRoi | Jones | a poet and playwright; Frank O'Hara's friend |
| James | Joyce | an Irish novelist |
| Franz | Kafka | a German writer; author of "Metamorphosis" |
| Bob | Kaplan | George and Nancy's son; Archie's friend |
| Ellen | Kaplan | George and Nancy's daughter; Archie's friend |
| George | Kaplan | Evie's neighbors and friends |
| Nancy | Kaplan | Evie's neighbors and friends |
| Anna | Karenina | a fictional character from Anna Karenina |
| Boris | Karloff | an English actor |
| Alex | Katz | an American poet and art critic |
| Desmond | Katz | Archie's legal representative |
| Edna | Katz | Camp Paradise owner; Irving Katz's wife |
| Irving | Katz | Camp Paradise owner; Edna Katz's husband |
| Bill | Kaufman | Camp Paradise' Counsellor |
| Elia | Kazan | a Greek-American film director |
| Grace | Kelly | an American actress; Princess of Monaco |
| John | Kennedy | the 35th president of the U.S. |
| Robert | Kennedy | a lawyer and former U.S. Attorney General |
| Jack | Kerouac | an American novelist and poet |
| Deborah | Kerr | a Scottish actress |
| Francis Scott | Key | a former U.S. Attorney for the District of Columbia |
| Nikita | Khrushchev | former Secretary of the Communist Party of Soviet Union |
| Nikita Sergeyevich | Khrushchev | the First Secretary of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union |
| Francis | Kilcoyne | Kilcoyne |
| Martin Luther | King Jr. | an American civil rights activist |
| Grayson | Kirk | the 14th President of Columbia University |
| Henry | Kissinger | a former U.S. Secretary of State |
| Debbie | Kleinmans | Archie's schoolmate |
| Clement | Knowles | the head of the film department at the Museum of Modern Art |
| Sandy | Koufax | an American baseball pitcher |
| Nora LuAnn | Kovacs | Archie's sexual fling; aka Starr Bolt |
| Siegfried | Kracauer | a German writer and journalist |
| Isabel | Kraft | Archie's classmate and admirer at Riverside Academy |
| Bob | Kramer | Archie's cabinmate at Camp Paradise |
| Victor | Krantz | a fictional character from Archie's story; Lily McNamara's twin brother |
| Dudley | Krantzenberger | Archie and Howard's suitemates |
| Hal | Krasner | Archie's cabinmate from Camp Paradise |
| Susie | Krauss | Archie's friend and love interest; Michael Timmerman's romantic partner |
| Ronny | Krolik | a school bully |
| Paul | Lafargue | a Cuban-born, French political writer |
| Veronica | Lake | an American film actress |
| Charles | Lamb | an English essayist and poet |
| Ann | Landers | an American columnist |
| Wanda | Landowska | a Polish-French harpichordist and pianist |
| Lois | Lane | a fictional character from DC Comics |
| Priscilla | Lane | an American actress |
| Henri | Langlois | a French archivist |
| Kevin | Lassiter | Student interviewed by Michael Timmerman |
| Stan | Laurel | an English actor and comedian; aka Stan; aka Mr. Thin |
| Jean-Pierre | Léaud | a French actor |
| Gottfried Wilhelm | Leibniz | a Scottish biographer and diarist |
| Vivian | Leigh | an English actress |
| Joseph | Lelyveld | the Department of Correctional Services Commissioner |
| John | lennon | an English singer |
| Giacomo | Leopardi | a German polymath |
| Tom | Lerner | team captain of Archie's school basketball team |
| Mervyn | LeRoy | an American film director |
| Denise | Levinson | the girl Archie kissed at Camp Paradise. |
| Alan | Lewis | Archie's classmate and friend at Riverside Academy |
| Jerry | Lewis | an American comedian and actor |
| Roy | Lichtenstein | an American artist |
| Karl | Liebknecht | leader of the Social Democratic Party |
| Harry | Lime | a fictional character from The Third Man played by Orson Welles |
| Abraham | Lincoln | the 16th U.S. President |
| John | Lindsay | a Lawyer and former United States Representative |
| Sonny | Liston | an American boxer |
| Viola | Liuzzo | an American civil rights activist |
| Robert | Livingston | a member of the Committee of Five; a Founding Father of the U.S. |
| Harold | Lloyd | an American silent film comedian/actor |
| Mike | Loeb | Amy's romantic partner |
| Carole | Lombard | an American actress |
| Victor | Lowry | Arts Editor of Herald Tribune |
| Miss | Lundquist | Archie's kindergarten teacher |
| Rosa | Luxemburg | a member of the Democratic Party of Germany |
| Mrs. | M. | the brothel director |
| George | MacDonald | a Scottish author |
| Mr. | MacDonald | a male student |
| Mr. | MacDonald | Archie's English teacher |
| Archibald | MacLeish | an American poet and writer |
| Gustav | Mahler | an Austrian Romantic composer and conducter |
| Andy | Malone | a member of the baseball team with Archie |
| Miss | Mancini | Archie Ferguson's fourth grade teacher |
| Vincent | Mancusi | the superintendent of the Attica prison |
| Dr. | Manette | a fictional character from A Tale of Two Cities |
| Fritz | Mangini | an English philosopher |
| Mr. | Mangini | Archie's friend at Brooklyn College |
| Charles | Manson | an American criminal and cult leader |
| Mickey | Mantle | an American baseball player |
| Herbert | Marcuse | a German-American philosopher |
| Ruth | Mariano | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins |
| Thurgood | Marshall | a Civil rights lawyer |
| Dean | Martin | an American singer and actor |
| Donald | Marx | Mildred Adler's husband; aka Don |
| Groucho | Marx | an American comedian |
| Gwendolyn | Marx | Donald Marx's ex-wife |
| Karl | Marx | a German philosopher |
| Noah | Marx | Donald and Gwendoly Marx's son; aka Harpo |
| James | Mason | an English actor |
| Perry | Mason | a fictional character from Perry Mason film |
| François | Maspero | a French, left-wing Publisher |
| Cotton | Mather | a Puritan clergyman; a writer |
| Harry | Mathews | an American artist |
| Henri | Matisse | a French visual artist |
| Pierre | Matisse | a French-American art dealer; Henri Matisse's son |
| Victor | Mature | an American stage actor |
| Dennis | McBride | Archie's lawyer |
| John | McCabe | writer/biographer of Laurel and Hardy's book biography |
| Leo | McCarey | an American film director |
| Eugene | McCarthy | writer and former U.S. Senator |
| Tim | McCarthy | Archie's roommate |
| Irvin | McDowell | a former American army officer |
| Miss | McGillacuddy | a female student |
| Carl | McManus | the Executive Editor of the Rochester Times-Union |
| Harold | McNamara | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins; |
| Lily | McNamara | Celia Federman's love affair |
| Robert | McNamara | former U.S. Secretary of Defense |
| Jack | McNulty | a basketball coach |
| Mr. | McNulty | Archie's gym teacher |
| Audrey | Meadows | an American actress |
| Herman | Melville | an American writer |
| Jean-Pierre | Melville | an American activist and terrorist; born Samuel Grossman; aka Sam Melville; |
| Samuel | Melville | Fritz Mangini's father |
| H. L. | Mencken | an American journalist |
| Karl | Menninger | a French sociologist |
| James | Meredith | an American civil rights activist and writer |
| Alexander | Mestrovic | Celia Federman's Biology Professor |
| Lil | Michaels | Liz Schneiderman's mother; Amy and Jim's maternal grandmother; aka Grandma Lil |
| John Stuart | Mill | a philosopher and political economist |
| Ray | Milland | a Welsh-American actor |
| Sydney | Millbanks | Mildred's female romantic partner |
| Arthur | Miller | an American actor and writer |
| David | Miller | a heckler/protester |
| Henry | Miller | an American novelist and short story writer |
| Terry | Mills | a senior from Riverside Academy |
| Lenny | Millstein | coach and math teacher of the Jewish Y Basketball team |
| Rachel | Minetta | Archie's love interest |
| Ho Chi | Minh | the former President of North Vietnam; Vietnamese revolutionary leader and communist |
| Joan | Miró | a Spanish Catalan painter, sculptor, and ceramicist |
| Brian | Mischevski | a member of Archie's school basketball team; had a sexual affair with Archie |
| Jack | Molinas | an American basketball player with drug related crimes |
| Mr. | Molnár | restaurant owner |
| Mrs. | Molnár | restaurant owner |
| Piet | Mondrian | Trixie Davenport's third husband |
| Bobby | Monroe | Evelyn Monroe's husband |
| Evelyn | Monroe | Archie's English teacher; former Evelyn Ferrante; aka Mrs. Monroe; aka Evie |
| Bugs | Moran | an American gangster |
| Michael | Moran | captain of the Newark Fire Department |
| Alice | Morgan | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins |
| Sidney | Morgenbesser | an American philosopher and professor |
| Gouverneur | Morris | the author of the final draft of the U.S. Constitution |
| Michael | Morris | Amy's class senior; have a romantic interest in Amy |
| Norman | Morrison | an American activist |
| Wolfgang Amadeus | Mozart | an Austrian composer |
| Miss | Muggeridge | Archie's piano teacher |
| Hunca | Munca | a fictional mouse character from The Tale of Two Bad Mice |
| Dennis | Murphy | the defense lineman that sack Archie |
| Stan | Musial | an American baseball outfielder |
| Mike | Nadler | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| Barbara | Nagle | Robert and Susan Nagle's daughter |
| Robert | Nagle | Princeton University's Professor in Classical Literature in Translation ; Archie's faculty adviser |
| Susan | Nagle | Robert Nagle's wife |
| Billy | Nathanson | Archie's bully at Riverside Academy |
| E. | Nesbit | an English writer |
| Alfred E. | Neuman | a fictional character and mascot of MAD Magazine |
| Coach | Nimm | Archie's basketball coach; aka Coach Numb |
| David | Niven | an English actor |
| Richard | Nixon | the 37th president of the U.S. |
| Paul | Nizan | a French writer; author of Aden Arabie |
| Billy | Nolan | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins |
| Rufus | Nolan | Archie's presiding judge |
| Alex | Nordstrom | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| Kim | Novak | an American actress |
| Henry | Noyes | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins; aka Dr. Noyes |
| Will | Noyes | Archie and Howard's suitemates |
| Duncan | Nyles | a member of Archie's school basketball team; aka No-Dunk Nyles |
| Roger | Nyles | Assistant employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| Frank | O'Hara | an American writer and poet |
| Miss | O'Hara | the Principal's secretary |
| Margaret | O'Mara | Archie's admirer from his French Class |
| Chuck | O'Shea | Employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| Hilton | Obenzinger | Les Gottesman and Archie's friend; the Editor in Chief of the Columbia Review |
| Flannery | O'Connor | Billy and Joanna Best's daughter |
| Joan | of Arch | a patron saint of France |
| Princess | of Bones | a fictional character from The Droons, written by Archie |
| Zeno | of Elea | a Greek philosopher |
| William | of Orange | a former King of England |
| Laurence | Olivier | an English actor |
| George | Oppen | an American poet |
| Moira | Oppenheim | the girl Mike Loeb had an affair with |
| Willard Van | Orman Quine | a British philosopher |
| Russell | Oswald | Luther Bond's girlfriend |
| Diana | Oughton | Ted Gold's fellow Weathermen |
| Patti | Page | an American singer |
| Grace | Paley | an American novelist and short story writer |
| William | Paley | the head of the CBS television network |
| Jim | Palmers | an American baseball pitcher |
| Charlie | Parker | an American jazz alto saxophonist |
| Blaise | Pascal | a French Philosopher and Scientist |
| Lester | Patel | Jim's MIT-graduate roommate |
| Alan | Paton | author of Cry, the Beloved Country: A Story of Comfort in Desolation |
| Peg | Pearson | Ron Pearson's wife |
| Ron | Pearson | a published poet under Gizmo Press; Archie's friend |
| Robert | Peel | a former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom |
| William | Penn | an English writer |
| Walter | Pidgeon | a Canadian-American actor |
| Alex | Pittman | an Editor for Rochester Times-Union |
| Alexander | Platt | an associate dean of the Columbia College |
| Vito | Pontrelli | a white Newark police officer |
| Cole | Porter | an American composer and lyricist |
| Georges | Poulet | a Belgian literary critic |
| Boog | Powell | an American baseball first baseman |
| Gary | Powers | an American pilot |
| Wanda | Powers | Miss April model from the Playboy Magazine |
| Andrea | Pozzo | a fictional character from Waiting for Godot |
| Jacques | Prévert | the script writer of Children of Paradise |
| Joachim | Prinz | a German-American rabbi |
| Marcel | Proust | a French novelist and literary critic |
| J. Alfred | Prufrock | the protagonist of the poem "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" |
| Hester | Prynne | a fictional character from The Scarlet Letter |
| Abner | Quine | a newly promoted detective that bought a pair of brogan |
| Alice | Quine | Abner Quine's romantic partner; aka Darling; aka Angel; aka Sweetheart; aka Gorgeous; aka Monkey Face |
| Timothy | Quine | Alice and Abner Quine's son |
| Dan | Quinn | the Editor in Chief of the Columbia Review |
| Daniel | Quinn | poets and prose writer; member of Spectator |
| Harvey | Rabinowitz | Counselor of Camp Paradise |
| Jean | Racine | a French dramatist and playwright |
| Claude | Rains | an American actor |
| Bill | Rappaport | Camp Paradise Basketball Coach |
| David | Raskin | Rose Ferguson's former fiancée |
| Basil | Rathbone | an English actor |
| Joseph-Maurice | Ravel | a French composer and pianist |
| Satyajit | Ray | an Indian film director and screenwriter |
| Ronald | Reagan | the 40th U.S. President |
| Lynn | Redgrave | a British-American actress |
| Michael | Redgrave | an English actor |
| Vanessa | Redgrave | an English actress |
| James | Reeb | a Unitarian Universalist minister and civil rights activist |
| Jean | Renoir | a French filmmaker and actor |
| Kenneth | Rexroth | an American poet |
| Abraham Alexander | Ribicoff | a member of the Democratic Party |
| Ralph | Richardson | an English actor |
| Sviatoslav | Richter | a Soviet-Russian classical pianist |
| Rembrandt van | Riji | a Dutch painter |
| Nancy | Ritz | a comics character from Fritzi Ritz and Nancy |
| Larry | Rivers | an American painter and musician |
| Hal | Roach | an American film producer and director |
| Terry | Robbins | Ted Gold's fellow Weathermen |
| Christopher | Robin | a fictional character from Winnie the Pooh |
| John | Robinson | Employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| Nelson | Rockefeller | the 41st Vice President of the U.S. |
| Franklin | Roosevelt | the 32nd President of the U.S. |
| Adelle | Rosen | 3 Brothers Home World's Bookkeeper; aka Mrs. Rosen |
| Ethel | Rosenberg | convicted felon due to espionage |
| Julius | Rosenberg | convicted felon due to espionage |
| Dana | Rosenbloom | Archie's English classmate; Archie's romantic partner |
| Gladys | Rosenbloom | Dana Rosenbloom's mother |
| Leslie | Rosenbloom | Dana Rosenbloom's younger sister |
| Maurice | Rosenbloom | Dana Rosenbloom's father |
| A. M. | Rosenthal | the Deputy Managing Editor of the New York Times |
| Henry | Ross | Mildred Adler's husband |
| Gary Thomas | Rowe | a paid informant by the FBI against Viola Liuzzo |
| Mark | Rudd | member of SDS; Archie's old friend |
| Dean | Rusk | former U.S. Secretary of State |
| Bill | Russel | an American NBA player |
| Jimmy | Rutledge | shot by the Newark Police during the days of the Newark riot |
| Linda | Ryan | a fictional character from Archie's story, The Capital of Ruins |
| J.D. | Salinger | an American writer; author of "The Catcher in the Rye" |
| Louis | Salou | a French actor who played as the Count from Children of Paradise |
| Gregor | Samsa | a fictional character from Kafka's Metamorphosis |
| George | Sand | a French novelist |
| George | Sanders | an English actor |
| Paul | Sandler | Mildred Adler's husband |
| Jean-Paul | Sartre | a French writer; author of Situations I, II, III |
| Roger | Saslow | Amy Schneiderman's romantic interest |
| Mario | Savio | an American activist |
| Timothy | Sawyer | Luther Bond's roommate at Brandeis |
| Alan | Schaeffer | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| Hermann | Scherchen | a German conductor |
| Wally | Schirra | an American aviator and astronaut |
| Amy | Schneiderman | Dan Schneiderman's daughter; Archie's love interest |
| Anna | Schneiderman | Gil Schneiderman's first wife |
| Daniel | Schneiderman | Emanuel Schneiderman's youngest son; aka Dan |
| Elizabeth | Schneiderman | Dan Schneiderman's wife; aka: Liz |
| Ella | Schneiderman | Anna and Gil Schneiderman's daughter |
| Emanuel | Schneiderman | Rose Ferguson's employer; Photo studio owner |
| Gilbert | Schneiderman | Emanuel Schneiderman's eldest son; aka Gil |
| Jim | Schneiderman | Amy Schneiderman's older brother |
| Margaret | Schneiderman | Anna and Gil Schneiderman's daughter |
| Arnold | Schoenberg | an Austrian-American composer |
| Arthur | Schopenhauer | the Federman's family doctor |
| Jean-Pierre | Schreiber | Vivian Screiber's deceased husband |
| Vivian | Schreiber | Gil's old friend; aka Viv |
| Franz | Schubert | an Austrian composer |
| Eddie | Schultz | the arsonist hired by Ira Bernstein |
| Bobby | Seale | an American revolutionary and political activist |
| Jean | Seberg | an American actress |
| Del | Shannon | an American singer |
| Neil | Sheehan | a New York Times reporter |
| Mary | Shelley | an English novelist |
| Jack | Shelton | Princeton University's Economics Professor; interviewer |
| Alan | Shepard | an American astronaut |
| Jean | Sheperd | an American singer |
| William | Shirer | an American journalist |
| Toots | Shor | an American restaurateur |
| Chuckie | Showalter | School pep drum member |
| Jean | Shrimpton | an English model and actress |
| Richie | Siegel | Assistant employee of South Orange Tennis Center |
| Jean | Simmons | an English actress and singer |
| Michel | Simon | a Swiss actor from the film, Boudu Saved from Drowning. |
| Claire | Simpson | Mary Donohue's fianceé |
| Isaac Bashevis | Singer | a Polish novelist and short story writer |
| Sirhan | Sirhan | Robert Kennedy's assassin |
| Howard | Small | Archie's classmate and best friend |
| Mr. | Small | a Math professor; dean of students at Montclair State Teachers College. |
| Mrs. | Small | an Editor at Hearth & Home magazine. |
| Tom | Small | Howard's older brother |
| Christopher | Smart | an English poet |
| Bessie | Smith | an American blues and jazz singer |
| Bob | Smith | Archie's friend |
| C. Aubrey | Smith | an English actor |
| John | Smith | a black cab driver |
| Red | Smith | a sportswriter for Herald Tribune |
| Sluggo | Smith | a comics character from Nancy |
| Richard | Smolen | Mark Rudd's girlfriend |
| Duke | Snider | an American baseball center fielder |
| C.P. | Snow | an English novelist |
| Tommy | Snyder | Archie's classmate and friend at Riverside Academy |
| Valerie | Solanas | attempted to murder Andy Warhol; author of SCUM (Society for Cutting Up Men) and a play called Up Your Ass. |
| Max | Solomon | Nancy Solomon's husband |
| Nancy | Solomon | Rose Ferguson's close friend; formerly Nancy Fein |
| Ralph | Solomon | Max and Nancy Solomon's eldest son |
| Stewie | Solomon | Max and Nancy Solomon's youngest son |
| John Philip | Sousa | an American composer and conductor |
| Ed | Southgate | Evie's ex-boyfriend; a political journalist |
| Nancy | Sperone | Archie's co-worker and fling; a writer on the Women's Page for Rochester Times-Union |
| Myles | Standish | an English military officer |
| Bob | Stanton | Archie's co-worker |
| John | Steinback | an American writer; author of "Of Mice and Men". |
| Laurence | Sterne | an Irish novelist |
| Jimmy | Stewart | an American actor |
| Norma | Stiles | a senior editor of Thames & Hudson |
| Rex | Stout | an American writer |
| Delbert | Straughan | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| P. F. | Strawson | an American philosopher |
| Della | Street | a fictional character from Perry Mason film |
| Arthur Ochs | Sulzberger | the New York Times publisher |
| Jonathan | Swift | an Irish writer |
| Charlie | Sykes | 3 Brothers Home World's Repairman |
| Lewis | Tarkowski | a published poet under Gizmo Press |
| Sharon | Tate | an American actress and model |
| Elizabeth | Taylor | a British-American actress |
| Pyotr Ilyich | Tchaikovsky | a Russian composer of the Romantic era |
| Carol | Thalberg | the girl Archie met at Camp Paradise |
| Charles | the Fat | a former King of Italy |
| Alexander | the Great | the king of the ancient Greek kingdom of Macedon |
| Vlad | the Impaler | a former Voivode of Wallachia |
| Dylan | Thomas | a Welsh poet and writer |
| Robert McG. | Thomas Jr. | the New York Times journalist |
| Henry David | Thoreau | an American essayist and poet; author of Walden |
| Tom | Thumb | a fictional mouse character from The Tale of Two Bad Mice |
| Gene | Tierney | an American actress |
| Michael | Timmerman | Archie's friend and bully; aka Big Toes |
| Leo | Tolstoy | a Russian writer |
| Mrs. | Tommasini | the Walt Whitman Scholars Program's Secretary |
| Vicki | Tremain | Noah's girlfriend |
| Lionel | Trilling | an American short story writer |
| François | Truffaut | a French Filmmaker of The 400 Blows |
| David | Truman | the Vice President of Columbia College |
| Marina | Tsvetaeva | an English poet |
| Sonny | Tufts | an American stage actor and film star |
| Mark | Twain | an American writer and humorist |
| Murk | Twang | misspelled name of Mark Twain |
| Boss | Tweed | a former United States Representative |
| George | Tyler | owner of the Book World |
| Parker | Tyler | an American author and poet |
| Tristan | Tzara | a French poet |
| Frank | Valenti | boss of the Rochester crime family |
| Carl | Valone | The New York Time's journalist |
| Ludwig | van Beethoven | a German composer and pianist |
| Miss | Van Horn | Archie's fifth-grade teacher |
| Giorgio | Vasaria | a Roman historian |
| Mona | Veltry | Howard Small's childhood friend and love interest. |
| Johannes | Vermeer | a Dutch Baroque painter |
| François | Villon | a French poet |
| Charlie | Vincent | Mrs. Crowley's younger brother; a World War II veteran. |
| Rick | Vogel | a sportswriter for Montclair Times |
| Heinrich | von Kleist | a German Romantic poet and dramatist |
| Adam | Walker | poets and prose writer |
| George | Wallace | a Lawyer and former Governor of Alabama |
| Fats | Waller | an American jazz pianist and entertainer |
| Andy | Warhol | an American artist and filmmaker |
| Samuel | Wasserman | Archie's presiding judge |
| Muddy | Waters | an American blues singer |
| Edna | Waxman | employer of Luther Bond's mother |
| Sid | Waxman | employer of Luther Bond's mother |
| Anton | Webern | an Austrian composer and conductor |
| John | Webster | an English dramatist |
| Orson | Welles | an American actor and filmmaker |
| Chaka | Wells | the deputy minister of information for the Chicago Black Panthers |
| Nathaniel | West | an American writer; author of Miss Lonelyhearts |
| Jimmy Stewart | Westerns | an American actor |
| William | Westmoreland | a former U.S. Army General |
| Ann | Wexler | a published poet under Gizmo Press; aka Anne |
| Edith | Wharton | an American writer and designer |
| Marty | Wilkinson | a member of Archie's school basketball team |
| Caleb | Williams | Rhonda Williams' older brother |
| Rhonda | Williams | a girl Archie dated |
| Ted | Williams | an American baseball player |
| William Carlos | Williams | an American poet |
| Henry | Wilmot | a novelist; Rose Ferguson's commissioner/client |
| Cicero | Wilson | the president of SAS |
| Ludwig | Wittgenstein | Archie and Billy Best's literary agent |
| Mrs. | Wohlers | Archie's teacher |
| Mark | Worthington | U.S. Army doctor |
| Christopher | Wren | an English architect and astronomer |
| Richard | Wright | an American writer |
| Thomas | Wyatt | an English Politician |
| Malcolm | X | an African-American revolutionary |
| Loretta | Young | an American actress |
| Roland | Young | an English actor |
| Mao | Zedong | a Chinese revolutionary |
| David | Zimmer | poets and prose writer; Archie's friend |
| Adam | | the porn film director |
| Al | | the male porn actor |
| Alex | | Archie's roommates during second year college |
| Alice | | Archie's roommates during second year college |
| Andy | | Archie's cabinmate from Camp Paradise |
| Angelo | | the Spectator's typesetter |
| Apollo | | the ancient Greek god of music |
| Arletty | | French actress who played as Garance from Children of Paradise |
| Arthur | | the apartment building's superintendent |
| Balthazar | | the fictional (donkey) character from Au hasard Balthazar |
| Balthus | | a French artist |
| Bathsheba | | a fictional character from Far from the Madding Crowd |
| Béatrice | | a French assistant from the Galerie Maeght |
| Ben | | owner of the signature from Maurice Rosenbloom's book |
| Betty | | a fictional character from Archie Comics |
| Botana | | a fictional character from The Droons, written by Archie |
| Bruce | | Celia's boyfriend |
| Carol | | Archie's love interest |
| Carole | | Noah's ex-girlfriend |
| Cato | | a Roman general |
| Celestine | | Vivian Screiber's house cook |
| Christine | | Anne-Marie Dumartin's maternal Aunt |
| Christine | | Vivian Screiber's friend |
| Connie | | Archie's love interest |
| Cupid | | the Greek God of Love |
| Cynthia | | a prostitute from Mrs. M's brothel |
| Democritus | | a Greek philosopher; aka Laughing Philosopher |
| Desdemona | | a fictional character from Othello |
| Diana | | an American author and poet |
| Dolly | | the penny loafer shoe owned by Alice |
| Doris | | Benjamin Adler's secretary |
| Ed | | 3 Brothers Home World Warehouse employee |
| Ed | | the Brogan shoe owned by Walter Benton |
| Ed | | the male porn actor |
| Edward | | Vivian Screiber's nephew; Douglas Grant's son |
| Emily | | Celia's cousin |
| Empedocles | | an American psychiatrist, author, and activist. |
| Esmeralda | | a fictional character from The Hunchback of Notre Dame |
| Estragon | | a fictional character from Waiting for Godot |
| Euripides | | a Greek tragedian |
| F. | | a fictional character in Archie's story, The Scarlet Notebook |
| Felix | | Archie's co-worker |
| Flora | | the red satin high heeled shoe owned by Alice |
| Fortunato | | a member of Archie's baseball team |
| Frank | | a fictional character from Archie Ferguson's short story, Sole Mates |
| Fred | | the Brogan shoe owned by Walter Benton |
| Garance | | the female protagonist from the film, Children of Paradise |
| George | | Andy Cohen's friend |
| Georgia | | the female porn actor |
| Giotto | | an Italian painter and architect |
| Giovanna | | an Italian student from Archie's language class |
| Hamlet | | a fictional character from William Shakespeare's tragedy, Hamlet |
| Hank | | a fictional character from Archie Ferguson's short story, Sole Mates |
| Harry | | Archie's co-worker |
| Heckle | | a fictional character from Terrytoons animation studio |
| Heraclitus | | a Greek philosopher; aka Weeping Philosopher |
| Jack | | Nora LuAnn Kovacs' friend |
| Jacques | | Vivian Screiber's friend |
| Jane | | Archie's love interest |
| Jeckle | | a fictional character from Terrytoons animation studio |
| Jiggs | | a comics character from "Bringing Up Father" |
| John | | Archie's imaginary older brother |
| Juan | | a French film director; aka Pierre Grumbach |
| Jughead | | a fictional character from Archie Comics |
| Julie | | a prostitute from Mrs. M's brothel |
| Kaminsky | | an American painter |
| Leah | | the black pumps shoe owned by Alice |
| Linda | | Archie's love interest |
| Lucky | | a fictional character from Waiting for Godot; played by Noah Marx |
| Maggie | | a comics character and wife of Jiggs from "Bringing Up Father". |
| Marianne | | a female figure who's a symbol of France |
| Melanie | | Archie's roommates during first year college |
| Mia | | the black pumps shoe owned by Alice |
| Michelangelo | | an Italian sculptor and painter |
| Mimi | | Archie's love interest |
| Molly | | the penny loafer shoe owned by Alice |
| Moose | | a fictional character from Archie Comics |
| Moss | | Abner Quine's snitch/informant |
| Mulligan | | a fictional character from Mulligan's Travel, written by Archie |
| Myerson | | owner of Myerson Print Shop |
| Nancy | | Archie's love interest |
| Ned | | the new brogan shoe both by Alice for Abner Quine |
| Nobodaddy | | a derogatory term and character invented by English poet William Blake |
| Nora | | the red satin high heeled shoe owned by Alice |
| Odysseus | | a Greek hero from Odyssey |
| Paris | | a Trojan prince from the Odyssey |
| Peewee | | a fictional character from Peewee, the Circus Dog |
| Phil | | 3 Brothers Home World Warehouse employee |
| Plutarch | | the heroine of the Book of Esther in the Hebrew Bible |
| Psyche | | Cupid's lover/wife |
| Rick | | Amy's romantic partner |
| Rodolfo | | Leslie Rosenbloom's pet hamster |
| Sophocles | | a Greek tragedian |
| Stendhal | | a French novelist |
| Stu | | Archie's roommates during first year college |
| Suetonius | | a Greek-Roman philosopher and historian |
| Superman | | a fictional character from DC Comics |
| Susan | | Archie's love interest |
| Ted | | the new brogan shoe both by Alice for Abner Quine |
| Thucydides | | an Athenian general |
| Tillie | | owner of the signature from Maurice Rosenbloom's book |
| Veronica | | a fictional character from Archie Comics |
| Voltaire | | a French writer; author of Candide |
| W. | | a fictional character in Archie's story, The Scarlet Notebook; F.'s friend |
| Wanda | | the Ferguson's housekeeper |
| Zeus | | king of the Olympian gods from the Greek mythos |
| Zoe | | Archie's sexual fling |
