| Theda | Bara | Actress. |
| L. | Bertram | To whom the postcard was addressed to. |
| Joan | Crawford | Actress. |
| Harvey | Fierstein | Playwright. |
| Debbie | Gibson | Singer. |
| Little | John | A blind Labrador Retriever. |
| Matt | Jones | The guy Isabel would be married to according to the game MASH. |
| Hedi | Slimane | Image director of Celine. |
| Adam | | A boy from the party. |
| Agnes (1) | | Isabel's older sister. AKA: Aggie. |
| Agnes (2) | | Isabel's deceased grandmother. Aggie's namesake. |
| Ahmed | | Isabel's colleague. |
| Astrologer | | Isabel and Agnes's aunt. |
| Carpenter | | The astrologer's husband. |
| Derek | | A scrawny boy from 4th grade. |
| Gigi | | The astrologer's great-great-grandmother. |
| Isabel | | Protagonist. AKA: Belly. |
| Jacob | | A boy from the party. A painter. |
| Leo | | Isabel's best friend. AKA: Loon. |
| M | | The sender of the postcard. |
| Michael | | The party host. |
| Molly | | Isabel's colleague. Works across the hall from her. |
| Nate | | Isabel's colleague. |
| Nell | | Gigi's sister. |
| Paige | | A girl from the party. |
| Peter | | Isabel's colleague. |
| Spoke | | Isabel's colleague and love interest. From the Tech Support department. AKA: Thomas. |
| Steve | | The new man of Isabel's mother. |
| Vern | | Gigi's third husband. |