| Pro | Smith | Quirk | Ralph's
flat-mate/best friend. |
| | Ralph | Mcleary | Protagonist. |
| | Jason | | Ralph and Smith's
flat-mate. |
| | Monica | | A Born Again Christian. One of Ralph and Smith's
flat-mates. |
| | Rukhsana | | A woman who suffered an abusive arranged marriage. |
| | Simon | | Ralph's flat-mate. |
| | Rachel | | The girl with a skin condition. Ralph's
flat-mate. |
| | Jemima | | Ralph and Smith's new
flat-mate. Aka: Jem. |
| 1 | Claudia | | Ralph's girlfriend. |
| 2 | Siobhan | Kasparov | Karl's girlfriend. A luxurious woman. Aka: Shuv. |
| | Rosanne | | Karl and Siobhan's dog. |
| 3 | Shirelle | | The girl who falls in love with Ralph. |
| | Cheri | | The girl Smith falls in love with. Karl's ex-lover. |
| 4 | Angel | | Karl's girlfriend. A luxurious woman. Aka: Shuv. |
| 5 | Pete | | The butcher at the meat shop. |
| 6 | Natalie | Wood | An actress. |
| | James | Dean | An actor. |
| | Diana | | Smith's assistant. |
| 7 | Stella | | Jem's friend and theatrical workmate. |
| | Lily | | Jem's friend. |
| | Lulu | | Jem's sister. |
| 8 | Ariel | | The girl who bought Ralph a jumper. |
| | Valentina | | Oriel's dog. |
| 9 | Joe | Thomas | The guy Siobhan flirted with. |
| | Martin | | Cheri's friend. |
| | Giles | | Cheri's rich fiancé. |
| 10 | Paul | | Jem's close friend. |
| | Greta | | Smith's ex-girlfriend. |
| 11 | Rick | De Largy | A producer. Karl's acquaintance. |
| | Jeff | | Karl's friend. |
| 12 | Nick | | Jem's ex-boyfriend. |
| | Jason | | The man who likes Jem. |
| | Danny | | The man who likes Jem. |
| | Clem | | The man who likes Jem. |
| 13 | Justin | Jones | The man who de-virginized Jem. |
| 14 | Tamsin | | Rick's friend. Karl's former dancing student. |
| 15 | Drew | | The girl who took Rick's virginity. |
