| 1 | Martin | Addison | Blackmails Simon. aka: Marty. |
| | Simon | Spier | Protagonist. aka: Jacques, Bub. |
| | Blue | | Simon's chatmate. |
| | Abby | Suso | Cheerleader. Popular girl. Martin's crush. |
| | Ms. | Albright | Theater teacher and Director. |
| | Garrett | | Nick's semi-douche soccer friend. |
| | Tegan | | Simon's friend. |
| | Sara | | Simon's friend. |
| | Nick | Eisner | Simon's friend. Leah's boyfriend. |
| | Bieber | | Simon's dog. |
| | Leah | | Simon's friend. In love with Nick. |
| | Bram | Greenfeld | Nick's soccer friend. aka: Abraham. |
| | Amy | Everett | Simon's crush. |
| 3 | Nora | Spier | Simon's sister. aka: Boop. |
| | Alice | Spier | Simon's sister. aka: Allie. |
| | Daniel | F. | Alice's suitor. |
| | Morgan | | Leah's friend. |
| | Anna | | Leah's friend. Dated Simon when they were freshmen. |
| | Taylor | Metternich | Abby's friend. Has the lead role on the play. |
| | Cal | Price | Stage manager. Junior. |
| | Emily | Goff | Theater member. |
| | Mila | Odom | Theater member. |
| 5 | Ty | Allen | Abby's date on the homecoming dance. |
| | Rachel | Thomas | Simon's girlfriend in 8th grade. |
| 7 | Mr. | Wise | Simon's English teacher. |
| | Maddie | | A girl from Student Council. |
| 8 | Carys | | Someone Simon dated in the past. |
| | Sasha | | Simon's acquaintance. |
| | Brianna | | Simon's acquaintance. |
| 13 | Ms. | Dillinger | Simon's History teacher. |
| 17 | Eve | Miller | Mila's friend. |
| 19 | Amber | Wasserman | A girl from Nora's facebook feed. |
| | Jana | Goldstein | Alice's facebook friend. |
| | Theo | | Alice's boyfriend. |
| 20 | Carter | Addison | Martin's brother. |
| 23 | Ms. | Knight | Guidance Counselor. |
| 25 | Calvin | Coolidge | Drama Club student. |
| 28 | Martin | van Buren | The eighth president of Simon's club. |
| | | | Webster's - Juniper restaurant. |
| | Peter | | Someone Simon met at Webster's. |
| | Alex | | Peter's friend who looks like Simon. |
