1 | Martin | Addison | Blackmails Simon. aka: Marty. |
| Simon | Spier | Protagonist. aka: Jacques, Bub. |
| Blue | | Simon's chatmate. |
| Abby | Suso | Cheerleader. Popular girl. Martin's crush. |
| Ms. | Albright | Theater teacher and Director. |
| Garrett | | Nick's semi-douche soccer friend. |
| Tegan | | Simon's friend. |
| Sara | | Simon's friend. |
| Nick | Eisner | Simon's friend. Leah's boyfriend. |
| Bieber | | Simon's dog. |
| Leah | | Simon's friend. In love with Nick. |
| Bram | Greenfeld | Nick's soccer friend. aka: Abraham. |
| Amy | Everett | Simon's crush. |
3 | Nora | Spier | Simon's sister. aka: Boop. |
| Alice | Spier | Simon's sister. aka: Allie. |
| Daniel | F. | Alice's suitor. |
| Morgan | | Leah's friend. |
| Anna | | Leah's friend. Dated Simon when they were freshmen. |
| Taylor | Metternich | Abby's friend. Has the lead role on the play. |
| Cal | Price | Stage manager. Junior. |
| Emily | Goff | Theater member. |
| Mila | Odom | Theater member. |
5 | Ty | Allen | Abby's date on the homecoming dance. |
| Rachel | Thomas | Simon's girlfriend in 8th grade. |
7 | Mr. | Wise | Simon's English teacher. |
| Maddie | | A girl from Student Council. |
8 | Carys | | Someone Simon dated in the past. |
| Sasha | | Simon's acquaintance. |
| Brianna | | Simon's acquaintance. |
13 | Ms. | Dillinger | Simon's History teacher. |
17 | Eve | Miller | Mila's friend. |
19 | Amber | Wasserman | A girl from Nora's facebook feed. |
| Jana | Goldstein | Alice's facebook friend. |
| Theo | | Alice's boyfriend. |
20 | Carter | Addison | Martin's brother. |
23 | Ms. | Knight | Guidance Counselor. |
25 | Calvin | Coolidge | Drama Club student. |
28 | Martin | van Buren | The eighth president of Simon's club. |
| | | Webster's - Juniper restaurant. |
| Peter | | Someone Simon met at Webster's. |
| Alex | | Peter's friend who looks like Simon. |