| Trevor | | The hotel owner. |
| John | Lennon | A singer-songwriter. |
| Paul | McCartney | A singer-songwriter. |
| Brian | Epstein | A music entrepreneur. |
| Mother | | Narrator's mother. Aka: Natalie McCracken. |
| Narrator | | The unnamed narrator. Aka: Elizabeth McCracken. |
| The | Girl | The little girl that the narrator met. |
| Grandmother | | Narrator's grandmother. |
| New York | Friend | Mother's friend who painted the mirror black. |
| Collyer | Brothers | A New York millionaire who collected books, paper, and detritus. |
| Tiny | Tim | Singer with a ukulele. |
| Dorothy | Hamill | Narrator's former classmate. |
| Carla | | Narrator's professor. |
| Mim | | The girl at the London Eye. |
| Nan | Goldin | An American photographer. |
| Cholly | | The boy who kept getting away from his mother. |
| Harry | Potter | A fictional character. |
| Phillip | Johnson | An American architect. |
| Frank | | Ex-boyfriend of Narrator's mother. |
| The | Main Guy | The estate agent. |
| Aunt | | Narrator's aunt. An artist. |
| The Estate | Sale Crew | The boss. |
| Marguerite | | Narrator's friend. |
| Big Ben | | Narrator's bell. |
| David | Copperfield | A famous magician. |
| Great-Aunt | | The sister of Narrator's grandmother. |
| Brother | | Narrator's brother. |