| Charles | Apatan | The manager of the Tea Haven. |
| Ardeshir | Bahrami | Darius's grandfather. Shirin's father. Aka: Babou. |
| Fariba | Bahrami | Darius's grandmother. Shirin's mother. Aka: Mamou. |
| Jamsheed | Bahrami | Darius's uncle. |
| Fredegar | Bolger | The hobbit at Lord of The Rings. |
| Trent | Bolger | Dairus's childhood acquaintance. |
| Combat | Boot Lady | The TSA security checkpoint officer. |
| Cyprian | Cusuman | Trent's best friend. Aka: Chip. |
| Javaneh | Esfahani | Darius's classmate. |
| Coach | Fortes | Darius's gym teacher. |
| Vance | Henderson | Darius's co-boy scout. |
| Dr. | Howell | Darius's therapist. |
| Darius | Kellener | Protagonist. Aka: D'nuts. |
| Laleh | Kellner | Darius's little sister. |
| Stephen | Kellner | Darius's father. |
| Mrs. | Killinger | The nurse. |
| Ahab | | One of Laleh's fish. |
| Bob | | One of Laleh's fish. |
| Craig | | Darius's volleyball teammate. |
| Garfunkel | | One of Laleh's fish. |
| Moby | | One of Laleh's fish. |
| Simon | | One of Laleh's fish. |
