| Jeffrey | Archer | An entrepreneur. |
| Dan | Bains | Rupert's business partner. |
| Judy | Blume | An American writer. |
| Richard | Branson | An entrepreneur. |
| Bernard | Clark | Lou's father. |
| Katrina | Clark | Lou's sister. Thomas's mother. Aka: Treena. |
| Loisa | Clark | Narrator and Protagonist. Aka: Lou, Busy Bee. |
| Thomas | Clark | Lou's nephew. Treena's son. Aka: Tommo. |
| Freddie | Derwent | Will's former workmate. Alicia's boyfriend. |
| Alicia | Dewar | Will's ex-girlfriend. Aka: Lissa. |
| Mrs. | Dewar | Alicia's mother. |
| Timothy | Dewar | Alicia's father. |
| Mrs. | Doherty | The Clarks's family friend. |
| Rupert | Freshwell | Will's former workmate. Alicia's ex-boyfriend. |
| Sasha | Goldstein | Rupert's boss. |
| Dympna | Grisham | Richard's wife. |
| Richard | Grisham | Dympna's unfaithful husband. |
| Dandelion | Lady | One of Lou's customers. |
| Michael | Lawler | Will's lawyer. |
| Sheilagh | Mackinson | The woman who worked at Crown Prosecution Services. |
| Leo | McInerney | A former football player. |
| Carmen | Miranda | A singer. |
| Ginger | Pete | Patrick's business partner. |
| Mary | Rawlinson | One of the wedding guests. |
| Camilla | Tranor | Lou's employer. |
| Georgina | Traynor | Will's sister. Aka: George. |
| Steven | Traynor | Camilla's husband. |
| William John | Traynor | Camilla's quadriplegic's son. Lou's boss. Aka: Will. |
| Miss | Trowbridge | Lou's teacher. |
| Angel | | A plumber. Lou's customer. |
| Cherries | | The hairdressers. |
| Della | | Steven's mistress. |
| Ed | | Lou's former acquaintance. |
| Frank | | Lou's employer. |
| Granddad | | Lou's grandfather. |
| James | | Lou's diving instructor. |
| Karen | | A hotel guest. |
| Kev | | A plumber. Lou's customer. |
| Leanne | | Patrick's friend. |
| Lily | | Will's former caregiver. |
| Marky | | The guy Lou asked for help. |
| Nadil | | Nathan's substitute caregiver. |
| Nathan | | Will's daily nurse. |
| Nina | | The hairdressers. |
| Patrick | | Lou's boyfriend. |
| Ritchie | | A quadriplegic patient. |
| Samantha | | The proprietor of Hailsbury's only unisex hairdresser. |
| Sharon | | The security at the restaurant. |
| Syed | | Lou's personal adviser. |
