| Francis | Bacon | A former Lord Chancellor of England. |
| Nuclear | Boy | Somebody McSomebody's brother. |
| Maybe | Boyfriend | Middle Sister's secret boyfriend. A car mechanic. |
| Nuclear | Boy's ma. | Somebody McSomebody's mother. |
| First | Brother | Middle Sister's eldest brother. |
| Fourth | Brother | Middle Sister's fourth brother. |
| Oldest | Brother | Middle Sister's oldest brother. |
| Second | Brother | Middle Sister's brother who joined the renouncers. Deceased. |
| Third | Brother | Middle Sister's brother who was in love with Tablets-Girl's sister. |
| First | Brother-in-Law | Eldest Sister's husband. Started rumor of Middle Sister & Milkman's relationship. |
| Third | Brother-in-Law | Third Sister's husband. Middle Sister's childhood friend. |
| Oliver | Cromwell | An English political leader in England. |
| Marie | Curie | The girl who discovered Radium. |
| Emily | Davison | A suffragete who fought for vote for women in Britain. |
| The | Eldest | Maybe-Boyfriend's eldest brother. |
| Millicent | Fawcett | A British writer. |
| Guy | Fawkes | A member of the group of provincial catholic english. |
| Longest | Friend | Middle Sister's longest friend. |
| The | Groom | Longest Friend's husband. |
| Mata | Hari | A Dutch exotic dancer. |
| First | Housewife | Middle Sister's colleague in sub-branch women. |
| Ex-Boy | Lover | Ex-Boyfriend of Tablets-Girl's sister. |
| Sister | Mary Pius | The Big Nun. |
| Virginia | Mayo | An American actress. |
| Somebody | McSomebody | Middle Sister's stalker. |
| Freddie | Mercury | Lead vocalist of The Queen Band. |
| Marilyn | Monroe | An American actress. |
| Maybe-BF's | Neighbor | Maybe-Boyfriend's troublesome neighbor. |
| The | Neighbours | Middle Sister's gossip neighbor. |
| Florence | Nightingale | The founder of modern nursing. |
| Kim | Novak | An American film actress. |
| Teresa | of Avila | A Roman Catholic Saint. |
| Second | Oldest Male | Somebody McSomebody's brother who died while crossing the road. |
| Beyond-the- | Pale | Ma's friend. Man who didn't love Somebody. Aka: The Real Milkman. |
| Dolly | Parton | An American singer. |
| Marianna | Pineda | A Spanish liberalist heroine. |
| Mr. | Postman | A librarian. |
| Eleanor | Roosevelt | Former first lady of the U.S. A diplomat and activist. |
| William | Shakespeare | An English poet. |
| Eldest | Sister | Middle Sister's sister. First Brother-in-Law's wife. |
| Second | Sister | Middle Sister's sister. |
| Tablets-Girl's | Sister | Sister of Tablets-Girl. Ex-boy Lover's ex-girlfriend. |
| Third | Sister | Middle Sister's sister. Third Brother-in-Law's wife. |
| Wee | Sister | Middle Sister's youngest sister. |
| Lucy | Stone | A prominent U.S. orator. |
| Barbra | Streisland | An American singer-songwriter. |
| Wee | Tot | Somebody McSomebody's youngest sibling. |
| Harriet | Tubman | An American abolitionist. |
| Sigourney | Weaver | An American actress. |
| Ida Bell | Wells | An American journalist. |
| Second | Youngest | Maybe-Boyfriend's second youngest brother. |
| Brother | | Tablets-Girl sister's twin brother. |
| Chef | | Maybe-Boyfriend's longest friend. |
| Da | | Middle Sister's father. Deceased. |
| Elizabeth I | | The Queen of England and Ireland. |
| First Sister's ex | | First Sister's murdered ex-boyfriend. |
| Ivor | | A guy from "over-the-road". Maybe-Boyfriend's co-worker. |
| Jason | | One of Ma's pious friend. The guardian of the banned names. |
| Lassie | | Middle Sister's dog. |
| Milkman | | A high ranking paramilitary. A 41-year-old married man who
harassed Middle Sister. |
| Nigel | | The guardian of the banned names. |
| Peggy | | Real Milkman's ex-lover. |
| Tablets-Girl | | A local poisoner. |
