Characters - Alphabetical
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FrancisBaconA former Lord Chancellor of England.
NuclearBoySomebody McSomebody's brother.
MaybeBoyfriendMiddle Sister's secret boyfriend. A car mechanic.
NuclearBoy's ma.Somebody McSomebody's mother.
FirstBrotherMiddle Sister's eldest brother.
FourthBrotherMiddle Sister's fourth brother.
OldestBrotherMiddle Sister's oldest brother.
SecondBrotherMiddle Sister's brother who joined the renouncers. Deceased.
ThirdBrotherMiddle Sister's brother who was in love with Tablets-Girl's sister.
First Brother-in-LawEldest Sister's husband. Started rumor of Middle Sister & Milkman's relationship.
ThirdBrother-in-LawThird Sister's husband. Middle Sister's childhood friend.
OliverCromwellAn English political leader in England.
MarieCurieThe girl who discovered Radium.
EmilyDavisonA suffragete who fought for vote for women in Britain.
TheEldestMaybe-Boyfriend's eldest brother.
MillicentFawcettA British writer.
GuyFawkesA member of the group of provincial catholic english.
LongestFriendMiddle Sister's longest friend.
TheGroomLongest Friend's husband.
MataHariA Dutch exotic dancer.
FirstHousewifeMiddle Sister's colleague in sub-branch women.
Ex-BoyLoverEx-Boyfriend of Tablets-Girl's sister.
Sister Mary PiusThe Big Nun.
VirginiaMayoAn American actress.
SomebodyMcSomebodyMiddle Sister's stalker.
FreddieMercuryLead vocalist of The Queen Band.
MarilynMonroeAn American actress.
Maybe-BF'sNeighborMaybe-Boyfriend's troublesome neighbor.
TheNeighboursMiddle Sister's gossip neighbor.
FlorenceNightingaleThe founder of modern nursing.
KimNovakAn American film actress.
Teresa of AvilaA Roman Catholic Saint.
SecondOldest MaleSomebody McSomebody's brother who died while crossing the road.
Beyond-the-PaleMa's friend. Man who didn't love Somebody. Aka: The Real Milkman.
DollyPartonAn American singer.
MariannaPinedaA Spanish liberalist heroine.
Mr.PostmanA librarian.
EleanorRooseveltFormer first lady of the U.S. A diplomat and activist.
WilliamShakespeareAn English poet.
EldestSisterMiddle Sister's sister. First Brother-in-Law's wife.
SecondSisterMiddle Sister's sister.
Tablets-Girl'sSisterSister of Tablets-Girl. Ex-boy Lover's ex-girlfriend.
ThirdSisterMiddle Sister's sister. Third Brother-in-Law's wife.
WeeSisterMiddle Sister's youngest sister.
LucyStoneA prominent U.S. orator.
BarbraStreislandAn American singer-songwriter.
WeeTotSomebody McSomebody's youngest sibling.
HarrietTubmanAn American abolitionist.
SigourneyWeaverAn American actress.
Ida BellWellsAn American journalist.
SecondYoungestMaybe-Boyfriend's second youngest brother.
Brother Tablets-Girl sister's twin brother.
Chef Maybe-Boyfriend's longest friend.
Da Middle Sister's father. Deceased.
Elizabeth I The Queen of England and Ireland.
First Sister's ex First Sister's murdered ex-boyfriend.
Ivor A guy from "over-the-road". Maybe-Boyfriend's co-worker.
Jason One of Ma's pious friend. The guardian of the banned names.
Lassie Middle Sister's dog.
Milkman A high ranking paramilitary. A 41-year-old married man who harassed Middle Sister.
Nigel The guardian of the banned names.
Peggy Real Milkman's ex-lover.
Tablets-Girl A local poisoner.