| Pro | Sal | Gabelli | Owner of Sal's Saloon. Sammy's boss. |
| | Captain | Bokker | The South African merchant marine. |
| | Eddie | Shu | Sammy's business partner. Aka: Eddie Moo Shoes. |
| 1 | Mrs. | Stitlton | Sammy's girlfriend. Aka: The Cheese, Tilly. |
| | Sammy | Tiffin | Narrator and Protagonist. Aka: Two Toes. |
| | Lois | Fong | A dancer at Club Shanghai. Moo's girlfriend. |
| | General | Remy | A regular customer at Sal's Saloon. A high ranking official. |
| 2 | Mark | Twain | A famous novelist. |
| | Glenn | Miller | An American trombonist. |
| | Judy | Garland | An American actress. |
| | Janet | Chang | A dancer at the club. |
| | Jack | London | A novelist. |
| | Edgar Rice | Burroughs | A novelist. |
| | Tony | Cannelloni | A legacy member who invites Sal. |
| | Alton | Stoddard III | A lawyer. A regular customer at Bohemian Grove. |
| | Ronny | Biscotti | A member of Knight and Columbus. |
| | Madame | Mabel | Owner of the whorehouse named "Bohemian Grove". |
| | Pookie | O'Hara | A police officer. |
| | The | Kid | Sammy's friend. |
| 4 | Thelonius | Jones | Bartender - Moonlight Jazz Club. Aka: Lone Jones. |
| | Vinnie | | Myrtle's co-worker. A cook. |
| 5 | Bess | | Madame Mabel's bodyguard. |
| 7 | Milo | Andreas | Sammy's friend. The cabbie. |
| | Jackson | Two | A boxer. |
| | Doris | | The new waitress. |
| | President | Roosevelt | The current U.S. President. |
| | Cookie | | Sammy's neighbor. |
| 8 | Uncle | Mao | Moo's uncle. Aka: Uncle Ho. |
| | Phil | | The cook at Five and Dime on Polk Street. |
| 10 | Bennie | | Sammy's co-bartender. |
| 11 | Lou | | The doorman at Club Shanghai. |
| 13 | Uncle | Albert | The kid's uncle. |
| | Mrs. | Wong | The matriarch of Harmonius Cabbage. |
| | Bronko | Nagurski | Myrtle's neighbor. |
| 14 | Jimmy | Vasco | The owner and master
of ceremonies at Jimmy's Joynt. |
| | Butch | | The door dame at Jimmy's Joynt. |
| | Mel | | The bartender at Jimmy's Joynt. |
| | Pearl | | One of Jimmy's waitresses. |
| 15 | Bailey | | A secret agent. A high ranking official. |
| | Hatch | | Bailey's co-agent. |
| | Clarence | | Bailey's colleague. Potter's partner. |
| | Potter | | Clarence's partner. |
| 16 | Bill | | A police officer. |
| 17 | Judges | Tiffin | Sammy's older brother. |
| | Ruth | Tiffin | Sammy's sister. |
| | Shirley | | Sammy's ex-girlfriend. |
| | Samuel | Tiffin III | Sammy's younger brother. Aka: Skip. |
| | Johnny | McElhenny | A soldier. |
| | Max | Utley | A foreman. Sammy's former boss. |
| 19 | Mr. | Powers | Madame Mabel's customer. |
| | Petey | | Sammy and Eddie's snake. |
| | Jeff | | Mrs. Stilton's friend. |
| | Rusty | | Mrs. Stilton's friend. |
| 21 | James | | Mrs. Stilton's former lover. |
| | The | Moonman | The kid that Mrs. Stilton and Sammy helped. |
