| | | | Part 1 |
| 1 | Heather Irene | Mercer | Protagonist. Aka: Porky, Podge. |
| | Maureen | | One of Porky's classmates. |
| | Gwen | | Porky's best friend. |
| | Coral | Mercer | Porky's mother. |
| | Bernie | | A cabbie. |
| 2 | Oonagh | | Coral's friend. |
| | Edward | Mercer | Porky's brother. Aka: Teddy. |
| 3 | Shirl | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| | Dawn | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| | Celeste | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| | Archie | | The landlord. |
| | Mrs. | Mason | Porky's teacher. |
| | Rinty | | Porky's dog. |
| 4 | Leo | | Porky's lion stuffed toy. |
| | Frank (2) | | The maintenance man. |
| | Frank | Mercer | Porky's father. |
| 5 | Mike | | Frank's friend. |
| | Tony | | Frank's friend. |
| | | | Part 2 |
| 6 | Mr. | Talbot | Porky's teacher. |
| | Mr. | Downes | Porky's dentist. |
| | Janice | | Mr. Downes's secretary. |
| | Sandra | | One of Porky's friends. |
| 7 | Yvonne | | One of Porky's classmates. |
| 8 | Sue | | Gwen and Porky's friend. |
| | Nick | | Gwen's boyfriend. |
| | Jonathan | | Porky's dancing partner. |
| | Jim | | The man that Porky met at the party. Aka: Walter. |
| | Bernard | Goodall | The vice-chairman. |
| 9 | Melanie | Cockerell | Porky's former teacher. |
| | Naz | | Porky's workmate. |
| 10 | Jock | | One of Frank's drinking buddies. |
| | Cliff | | Porky's lover. The chef. |
| | Mo | | One of Cliff's assistants. |
| | | | Part 3 |
| 11 | Mary | Lou | Porky's guardian. |
| | Korky | | Porky's co-flight attendant. |
| | Marie | | Oonagh's sister. |
| | Rod | | One of Porky's lovers. |
| | Sandra | | One of Porky's friends. |
| 12 | Ali | | Heather's boyfriend. |
| | Bibs | | Ali's sister. |
| 15 | Farouq | | The boss at Savewise Travel. |
| | Eileen | | The cupboard secretary. |
| 16 | Darren | | Teddy's enemy. |
