| Melanie | Cockerell | Porky's former teacher. |
| Mr. | Downes | Porky's dentist. |
| Bernard | Goodall | The vice-chairman. |
| Mary | Lou | Porky's guardian. |
| Mrs. | Mason | Porky's teacher. |
| Coral | Mercer | Porky's mother. |
| Edward | Mercer | Porky's brother. Aka: Teddy. |
| Frank | Mercer | Porky's father. |
| Heather Irene | Mercer | Protagonist. Aka: Porky, Podge. |
| Mr. | Talbot | Porky's teacher. |
| Ali | | Heather's boyfriend. |
| Archie | | The landlord. |
| Bernie | | A cabbie. |
| Bibs | | Ali's sister. |
| Celeste | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| Cliff | | Porky's lover. The chef. |
| Darren | | Teddy's enemy. |
| Dawn | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| Eileen | | The cupboard secretary. |
| Farouq | | The boss at Savewise Travel. |
| Frank (2) | | The maintenance man. |
| Gwen | | Porky's best friend. |
| Janice | | Mr. Downes's secretary. |
| Jim | | The man that Porky met at the party. Aka: Walter. |
| Jock | | One of Frank's drinking buddies. |
| Jonathan | | Porky's dancing partner. |
| Korky | | Porky's co-flight attendant. |
| Leo | | Porky's lion stuffed toy. |
| Marie | | Oonagh's sister. |
| Maureen | | One of Porky's classmates. |
| Mike | | Frank's friend. |
| Mo | | One of Cliff's assistants. |
| Naz | | Porky's workmate. |
| Nick | | Gwen's boyfriend. |
| Oonagh | | Coral's friend. |
| Rinty | | Porky's dog. |
| Rod | | One of Porky's lovers. |
| Sandra | | One of Porky's friends. |
| Sandra | | One of Porky's friends. |
| Shirl | | One of Frank's pigs. |
| Sue | | Gwen and Porky's friend. |
| Tony | | Frank's friend. |
| Yvonne | | One of Porky's classmates. |
