| Tommy |
Aronson | Katherine's ex-boyfriend. |
| Elizabeth |
Bailey | The girl that Michael dated. |
| Mrs. |
Cornick | The old woman who lives downstairs. |
| Katherine |
Danziger | Protagonist,narrator. |
| Diana |
Danziger | Katherine's mother,a librarian. |
| Jamie |
Danziger | Katherine's sister. |
| Roger |
Danziger | Katherine's father. |
| Sybil |
Davison | Erica's cousin with a high IQ. |
| Mark |
Fiore | Janis's boyfriend. |
| Janis |
Foster | Katherine's former bestfriend. |
| Sam |
Fox | The director of Jamie's camp. |
| Hallie |
Gross | Katherine's grandmother. |
| Mrs. |
Hailey | One of Michael's teachers. |
| Mrs. |
Handelsham | Katherine's guidance counselor. |
| Mr. |
Kolodny | Katherine's teacher. |
| Artie |
Lewin | Michael's friend,Erica's boyfriend. |
| Seymour |
Mandelbaum | Diana's ex-boyfriend. |
| Florence |
Nightingale | English statistician. |
| Mr. |
Salamandre | Katherine's family butcher. |
| Mrs. |
Salamandre | Mr. Salamandre's wife. |
| Erica |
Small | Sybil's cousin. |
| Juliette |
Small | The film critic. |
| Michael |
Wagner | Katherine's first love. |
| Fred |
| Sybil's neighbor. Aka: The Creep. |
| Rex |
| Erica's golden retriever. |
| Dorothy |
| Tommy's girlfriend. |
| Tasha |
| Michael's dog. |
| Howard |
| Katherine's uncle,Diana's brother. |
| Sharon |
| Michael's sister. |
| Ike |
| Sharon's husband. |
| Ralph |
| Michael's private part. |
| Basil |
| The restaurant owner. |
| David |
| The boy where Jamie falls in love with. |
| Stephen |
| Michael's father. |
| Angela |
| Katherine's smelly roommate. |
| Zack |
| Angela's boyfriend. |
| Marsa |
| A fantastic ballerina. |
| Nan |
| Katherine's friend. |
| Theo |
| The head tennis counselor. |
| Danny |
| Michael's cousin. |