| 1 | Sybil |
Davison | Erica's cousin with a high IQ. |
| | Erica |
Small | Sybil's cousin. |
| | Michael |
Wagner | Katherine's first love. |
| | Katherine |
Danziger | Protagonist,narrator. |
| | Fred |
| Sybil's neighbor. Aka: The Creep. |
| | Elizabeth |
Bailey | The girl that Michael dated. |
| | Juliette |
Small | The film critic. |
| 2 | Rex |
| Erica's golden retriever. |
| 3 | Diana |
Danziger | Katherine's mother,a librarian. |
| | Jamie |
Danziger | Katherine's sister. |
| | Tommy |
Aronson | Katherine's ex-boyfriend. |
| | Dorothy |
| Tommy's girlfriend. |
| | Tasha |
| Michael's dog. |
| 4 | Roger |
Danziger | Katherine's father. |
| | Hallie |
Gross | Katherine's grandmother. |
| | Howard |
| Katherine's uncle,Diana's brother. |
| | Artie |
Lewin | Michael's friend,Erica's boyfriend. |
| 5 | Florence |
Nightingale | English statistician. |
| | Mr. |
Salamandre | Katherine's family butcher. |
| | Mrs. |
Salamandre | Mr. Salamandre's wife. |
| 6 | Mr. |
Kolodny | Katherine's teacher. |
| | Mrs. |
Hailey | One of Michael's teachers. |
| 7 | Sharon |
| Michael's sister. |
| 8 | Ike |
| Sharon's husband. |
| | Mrs. |
Handelsham | Katherine's guidance counselor. |
| | Ralph |
| Michael's private part. |
| 11 |
Seymour | Mandelbaum |
Diana's ex-boyfriend. |
| 12 |
Mrs. | Cornick |
The old woman who lives downstairs. |
| 13 |
Janis | Foster |
Katherine's former bestfriend. |
| | Mark |
Fiore | Janis's boyfriend. |
| 14 |
Basil | |
The restaurant owner. |
| 17 |
David | |
The boy where Jamie falls in love with. |
| 19 |
Sam | Fox |
The director of Jamie's camp. |
| | Stephen |
| Michael's father. |
| 22 |
Angela | |
Katherine's smelly roommate. |
| | Zack |
| Angela's boyfriend. |
| | Marsa |
| A fantastic ballerina. |
| | Nan |
| Katherine's friend. |
| | Theo |
| The head tennis counselor. |
| 23 |
Danny | |
Michael's cousin. |
