| 1 | Madison |
Roberts | Lillian's close friend; senator's wife. Aka: Madison Billings |
| | Derek |
| Lillian's boss |
| | Lillian |
Breaker | Protagonist and narrator |
| | Carl |
| Senator Roberts's assistant |
| | Jasper |
Roberts | Madison's husband; state senator |
| | Chet |
| Ex-boyfriend of Lillian's mother |
| | Betty |
Boop | Animated cartoon character |
| | Luke |
Duke | Fictional character from The Dukes of Hazzard |
| | Bo |
Duke | Fictional character from The Dukes of Hazzard |
| | Ms. |
Lipton | School headmaster |
| | Mr. |
Billings | Madison's father |
| | Andy |
Griffith | American actor and television personality |
| | Ms. |
Breaker | Lillian's mother |
| | Timothy |
Roberts | Madison's son |
| | Jane |
Roberts | One of Jasper's ex-wives |
| | Bessie |
Roberts | Daughter of Jane and Jasper |
| | Roland |
Roberts | Son of Jane and Jasper; Bessie's twin brother |
| 2 | Mary |
| Madison's maid |
| | Emmylou |
Harris | American singer-songwriter |
| | Geoffrey |
| Timothy's stuffed animal |
| | Bartholomew |
| Timothy's stuffed animal |
| | Calvin |
| Timothy's stuffed animal |
| | Emily |
| Timothy's stuffed animal |
| | Bruce |
| Timothy's stuffed animal |
| 3 | Richard |
Cunningham | Jane's father |
| 8 | Jimmy |
Valiant | Professional wrestler |
| | Dolly |
Parton | American singer-songwriter and actress |
| | Daniel |
Boone | American pioneer and frontiersman |
| | Davy |
Crockett | American folk hero and frontiersman |
| 9 | Dr. |
Cannon | Doctor of the twins |