Pro | Baraka | | Silverback gorilla. |
| Dred | Scott | Enslaved African American man in the United States. |
| Hampton | Fiske | The narrator's lawyer and old friend. Aka: Hamp. |
| Jean | Valjean | Protagonist of Victor Hugo's 1862 novel Les Misérables. |
| Muhammad | Ali | American professional boxer, activist, and philanthropist. |
| Pat | Boone | American singer. |
| Gerry | Mulligan | American saxophonist. |
| Janis | Joplin | American singer-songwriter. |
| Eric | Clapton | English rock and blues guitarist, singer, and songwriter. |
| Toni | Morrison | American novelist. |
| Ronald | Reagan | 40th U.S. President. |
| Benjamin | Kubelsky | American comedian. Aka: Jack Benny. |
| Kirk | Douglas | American actor, filmmaker, and author. Aka Danielovitch. |
| Jerry | Lewis | American comedian. |
| Dean | Martin | American singer. |
| Max | Baer | American boxer. |
| Max | Schmeling | German boxer. |
| Sammy | Davis, Jr. | American singer, dancer, actor, comedian and activist. |
| Mike | Tyson | American boxer. |
| | | THE SHIT YOU SHOVEL |
1 | Carl | Jung | Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. |
| Anna | Freud | Austrian psychoanalyst
- youngest child of Sigmund Freud. |
| | Watson | One of the behaviorists. |
| | Rayner | One of the behaviorists. |
| Little | Albert | Nine-month-old baby. |
| Neil | Young | Canadian singer-songwriter. |
| Kitty | Genovese | Woman who was brutally murdered outside of her apartment. |
| Kenneth | Clark | African-American psychologist. |
| Mamie | Clark | African-American psychologist. |
| Martin Luther | King, Jr. | American Christian minister and activist. |
| Malcolm X | | American Sunni minister and human rights activist. |
| Harriet | Tubman | American abolitionist and political activist. |
| Mahatma | Gandhi | Indian lawyer, anti-colonial nationalist, and political ethicist. |
| Booker T. | Washington | Great Educator and founder of the Tuskegee Institute. |
| Warren | Bennis | One of the authors of Planning of Change. |
| Kenneth | Benne | One of the authors of Planning of Change. |
| Robert | Chin | One of the authors of Planning of Change. |
| Carl | Garfield | Rapper Aka: Kilo G. |
3 | Milton | Friedman | American economist. |
| Foy | Cheshire | The co-founder of the Dum Dum Donut Intellectuals. |
| Murray | Flores | Police Captain. |
| Edward | Orosco | Undercover police officer. |
| | Medina | Police officer. |
| Bill | Russell | American former professional basketball player. |
| Laurel | Lescook | Student from Key Biscayne, Florida. |
| Suzy | Q | A nanny. |
4 | Rebecca 1 | | Foul-mouthed teenager. |
| Charles John | Huffam | English writer and social critic. Aka: Charles Dickens. |
| Oscar | Wilde | Irish poet and playwright. |
| Marcus | Garvey | Jamaican political activist, publisher, journalist and orator. |
| Professor | Farley | Intro to agronomy teacher. |
| George Washington | Carver | American agricultural scientist and inventor. |
| Gregor | Mendel | Scientist. |
| Bridget | Sanchez | The narrator's childhood acquaintance. Aka: La Giggles. |
5 | Hominy | Jenkins | An elderly man and extreme manifestation of Uncle Tom. |
| Uncle | Tom | Character of Harriet Beecher Stowe's, Uncle Tom's Cabin. |
| Buckwheat | Thomas | American child actor. Aka: Billie Thomas. |
| Harry | Belafonte | American singer. |
| Sidney | Poitier | American-Bahamian actor. |
| James | Dean | American actor. |
| Marilyn | Monroe | American actress. |
| Marpessa D. | Dawson | The narrator's childhood sweetheart and on/off girlfriend. |
| Darla | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Alfalfa | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Mickey | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Porky | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Chubby | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Froggy | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Butch | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Wally | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Spanky | | One of the characters from The Little Rascals. |
| Tasha | | One of the narrator's father's teaching assistants. |
| Gary | Coleman | American actor. |
| Shirley | Temple | American actress. |
| Eddie | Munster | Fictional character on the CBS sitcom. |
| Brooke | Shields | American actress. |
6 | Scarlett | O'Hara | Gone with the Wind character. |
| Sunshine | Sammy | The original Little Rascal. |
| | | THE DUM DUM DONUT INTELLECTUALS |
7 | Kelsey | Grammer | American actor. |
| Mark | Twain | American writer. |
| Franz | Fanon | French West Indian psychiatrist and political philosopher. |
| King | Cuz | Local gangster = member the Dum Dum Donut Intellectuals. |
| Curtis | Baxter | King Cuz's former name. |
| | | EXACT CHANGE, OR ZEN AND
|
| | | THE ART OF BUS RIDING AND RELATIONSHIP REPAIR |
9 | Guy | Laroche | French high-fashion designer. |
| MC | Panache | Local gangster and Marpessa's husband. |
| Bret Easton | Ellis | American author. |
| John | Wayne | American actor. Aka: Duke. |
| Jimmy | Cliff | Jamaican musician. |
| Kristy | McNichol | American actress. |
| Gerhard | Richter | German visual artist. |
| David | Hammons | American artist. |
| Elizabeth | Murray | American painter. |
| Jean-Michel | Basquiat | American artist. |
| Erich Maria | Remarque | German novelist. |
| Nakeshia | Raymond | The narrator's quiz bee opponent. |
10 | Rodney Glen | King | American construction worker turned writer and activist. |
| Laura | Jane | Hires by the narrator to dance with Hominy. |
| Barbra | Streisand | American singer. |
| Whoopi | Goldberg | American actor. |
| Al | Green | American singer. |
| | | City Lites: An Interlude |
| Susan | Silverman | Matchmaker from Sister Cities Global. |
| | | TOO MANY MEXICANS |
11 | Charisma | Molina | Marpessa's best friend. |
| Nestor | Lopez | The narrator's former childhood friend. |
| Sheila | Clark | Young black student at Chaff Middle School. |
| Mr. | Edmunds | Math specialist. |
12 | Miss | Crabtree | Character from Our Gang shorts. |
| Eva | Braun | Adolf Hitler's wife. |
13 | Clyde | | Black attendant at the gas station in Mississippi. |
| Rebecca 2 | | The one whom the narrator's father seduces in Mississippi. |
| Eli | Whitney | American inventor best known for inventing the cotton gin. |
14 | Stevie | Dawson | Marpessa's younger brother. |
15 | Lori | | One of the Lopez kids. |
| Dori | | One of the Lopez kids. |
| Jerry | | One of the Lopez kids. |
| Charlie | | One of the Lopez kids. |
| Cipriano | Martínez | Half-Salvadoran, half-black boy. Aka: Candy. |
| Kristina | | Chaff Middle School student. |
| | | APPLES AND ORANGES |
17 | Lewis | Latimer | Inventor and patent draftsman for the light bulb and telephone. |
| Tom | Cruise | American actor and film producer. |
| Richard | Pryor | American stand-up comedian. |
| Michael | Gallegos | Sixth-grader from Charisma's school. |
18 | Oscar | Zocalo | The narrator's lab partner at Riverside. |
19 | Jon | McJones | Foy's friend. |
20 | Eduardo | Nájera | Mexican basketball player. |
| Tahnee | Robinson | American basketball player. |
| Earl | Watson | Basketball coach. |
| Shoni | Schimmel | American basketball player. |
| Orlando M. | Valdez | American-Mexican basketball player. |
| Kara | Walker | American contemporary painter,
silhouettist and film-maker. |
| Kathleen | Battle | American operatic soprano. |
| Patrick | Ewing | American-Jamaican basketball player. |
| Lee | Morgan | American jazz trumpeter. |
| Fran | Ross | American author. |
| Johnny | Otis | American singer. |
21 | Johnny | Unitas | American football player. |
22 | Tony | Curtis | American film actor. |
| Nick | Nolte | American actor, producer, author, and former model. |
| Ethan | Hawke | American actor, writer, and director. |
| Gene | Wilder | American actor. |
| George | McFarland | American actor. Aka: Spanky. |
| Tommy Lee | Jones | American actor and filmmaker. |
| Mark | Wahlberg | American actor. |
| Tim | Robbins | American actor, screenwriter, director, producer, and musician. |
| Stepin | Fetchit | American film actor. |
| George W. | Bush | 43rd U.S. President. |
| Al | Jolson | American singer, comedian, and actor. |
| Betty | Boop | Cartoon character. |
| Butterfly | Davis | Girl at LA Festival of Forbidden Cinema. Aka: Topsy. |
| Mason | Reese | Former child actor. |
| Leonard | Maltin | American film critic. |
23 | Suzy | Holland | One of the Dickens Five. |
| Hannah | Nater | One of the Dickens Five. |
| Robby | Haley | One of the Dickens Five. |
| Keagan | Goodrich | One of the Dickens Five. |
| Melonie | Vandeweghe | One of the Dickens Five. |
| Sheila | Clark | Young black student at Chaff Middle School. |
| Buzz | Aldrin | American engineer and a former astronaut and fighter pilot. |
| Mark | Torres | Little League game player. |
| Dwight D. | Eisenhower | 34th U.S. President. |
| Judge | Nguyen | The judge at the narrator's trial. |
| | | UNMITIGATED BLACKNESS |
24 | Fred | Manne | The courtroom illustrator. |
| Rick | Rubin | American record producer. |