| 1 | Adrian | Finn | The new kid in Tony's class. A brilliant kid. |
| | Old Joe | Hunt | Tony's history teacher. |
| | Colin | | Tony's long-time friend. Aka: Col. |
| | Alexander | | Tony's long-time friend. Aka: Alex. |
| | Anthony | Webster | Narrator and Protagonist. Aka: Tony. |
| | Phil | Dixon | Tony's English teacher. |
| | Holbein | | A painter. |
| | Franz | Ferdinand | An archduke. |
| | Robson | | Deceased. |
| | Patrick | LaGrange | A French philosopher. |
| | Veronica Mary | Elizabeth Ford | Tony's girlfriend. |
| | Ted | Hughes | An English poet. |
| | Jack | Ford | Veronica's brother. |
| | Sarah | Ford | Veronica and Jack's mother. |
| | Mr. | Ford | Veronica and Jack's father. |
| | Mick | Jagger | An American singer. |
| | Annie | | Tony's new girlfriend. |
| | Margaret | Webster | Tony's wife. |
| | Susan | Webster | Tony and Margaret's daughter. |
| | Ken | | Susie's husband. |
| | Dvorak | | Tony's favorite composer. |
| | Tchaikovsky | | Tony's favorite composer. |
| | Eleanor | Marriott | Sarah Ford's solicitor. |
| | T.J. | Gunnell | Tony's solicitor. |
| | Caroline | | Margaret's friend. |
| | Lucas | | Susie's son. |
| | John | Lewis | An American politician. |
| | Stefan | Zweig | Tony's favorite author. |
| | Terry | | Adrian Jr.'s worker. |
