| Phil | Dixon | Tony's English teacher. |
| Veronica Mary | Elizabeth Ford | Tony's girlfriend. |
| Franz | Ferdinand | An archduke. |
| Adrian | Finn | The new kid in Tony's class. A brilliant kid. |
| Jack | Ford | Veronica's brother. |
| Mr. | Ford | Veronica and Jack's father. |
| Sarah | Ford | Veronica and Jack's mother. |
| T.J. | Gunnell | Tony's solicitor. |
| Ted | Hughes | An English poet. |
| Old Joe | Hunt | Tony's history teacher. |
| Mick | Jagger | An American singer. |
| Patrick | LaGrange | A French philosopher. |
| John | Lewis | An American politician. |
| Eleanor | Marriott | Sarah Ford's solicitor. |
| Anthony | Webster | Narrator and Protagonist. Aka: Tony. |
| Margaret | Webster | Tony's wife. |
| Susan | Webster | Tony and Margaret's daughter. |
| Stefan | Zweig | Tony's favorite author. |
| Alexander | | Tony's long-time friend. Aka: Alex. |
| Annie | | Tony's new girlfriend. |
| Caroline | | Margaret's friend. |
| Colin | | Tony's long-time friend. Aka: Col. |
| Dvorak | | Tony's favorite composer. |
| Holbein | | A painter. |
| Ken | | Susie's husband. |
| Lucas | | Susie's son. |
| Robson | | Deceased. |
| Tchaikovsky | | Tony's favorite composer. |
| Terry | | Adrian Jr.'s worker. |
